A
female
age
41-50,
*hiannon3
writes:My boyfriend and I of seven months are now having a baby. It was not planned. He talks about a future with me. He has been married before. I have also. He never wants to get married again. He wants to get a home together. He has told me he loves me. I love him. We both have two other children from previous marriage. He is excited about the baby. He just in no way wants to talk about marriage. He also doesn't tell me he loves often. Which is fine. He isn't very romantic. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I am in love with him. Do I ever ask him about this again? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (7 May 2018):
 An accidental pregnancy at your age? Seriously? If you were an inexperienced teenager, that would possibly be understandable, but at your age? Let me tell you, you are VERY lucky he is pleased about the baby and standing by you. Many a man would have turned tail and disappeared.
You have been together a matter of months. He would be stupid to even discuss the possibility of marriage with you after knowing you for such a short time. In any case, you have both been married before so you know from bitter experience that marriage is no guarantee of anything. I have to ask why it is to important to you that you need to hound him about it?
He has told you he does NOT want to marry again. You need to get your head around that and concentrate on this unexpected baby. Who knows, he may change his mind down the line. If he has any sense, however (which I doubt as you would not be pregnant if he did), he will wait until he actually knows you properly. That takes considerably longer than a few months.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2018): Just be patient with him, the more you talk about marriage and hound him about it the less he'll want to talk about it. Plus, 7 months is very little time to get to know him completely.
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A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (5 May 2018):
 Marriage is just a means of exalting ownership that's why divorce rates are skyrocketing these days. You'd be surprised how many relationships last longer when they don't tie the knot because, i think, the mindset that "this person doesn't belong to you and they can do as they please" is still at the forefront of your mind therefore you probably fight less, expect less and value and respect each other more.
Be grateful that you have someone in your life who wants to be with you and share a child with you. Don't sweat the small stuff.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 May 2018):
 Why bring it up again?
He has ALREADY stated that he IS NOT getting married again. Do you think by asking over and over that HE will change his mind? Because he won't.
So you have to decide do you want a partner YOU are not married to but who treats you well, who loves you... or do you want to add MARRIAGE to that?
You kind of put the horse before the cart with getting pregnant before this issue was discussed or settled on. Now he kind of had the long end of the stick.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2018): You hardly know this guy.He is not gonna marry you.Did you think you could trap him or was this an accident?Let me tell you every woman I know who tried to trap a man this way it never worked out.Poor baby.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2018): "Do I ever ask him about this again?"You can, but don't expect a different answer. He told you he never wants to get married, and that's the only thing he's said to you at which you can take him at his word.Otherwise, don't believe what he SAYS, believe what he DOES (or doesn't do). As for the other BS lines he's feeding you, he's just telling you what you want to hear so he can continue to string you along.In the meantime, as you wait for him to back up his vague promises with concrete actions (which could be a long time) you would be well advised to prepare for the possibility that you could end up stuck as a single (as well as unwed) mother stuck raising the kid completely on your own. I feel very sad for the child
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