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We are cousins married to others and cheating

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Question - (22 September 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 22 September 2010)
A age 51-59, anonymous writes:

dear cubid: in love with close cousin

i have been in love with my close cousin ever since we were young. we are now married to different people and have children but we have failed to break up. unfortunately for whatever reasons, we are now enjoying each other more than ever before. we both feel gulty cheating on our spouses. what do we do?

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A female reader, Princess _008 Mauritius +, writes (22 September 2010):

first decide who you want? your husband/wife? or being with your cousin?

if you think you'll be happier with your cousin then talk about it to your husband. and go for a divorce

now if you think you are happier with your spouse but cannot controls your feelings for your cousins. it is better for you both to stay away from each other. you can avoid meeting him or avoid situation that is related to him. it is very important to create distance between you guys and eradicate that closeness before you break up

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A female reader, taxiho United States +, writes (22 September 2010):

taxiho agony auntHonestly, you want my advice?

First of all, what degree of "cousins" are you? Are you first cousins? First cousin is defined your father or mother's brother or sister child. 2nd cousin would be what your children are to your cousins children. If they would ever have children, then those children would be 3rd cousins.

Really, I think that what you have will be almost impossible to break off. You all "feel" special b/c you are "close" in relation. Maybe, what you ought to do, is keep it that way, and just go on w/ your married lives. Yo don't want to hurt children if you have any. If your children's friends get wind then they will DEFINTELY be talk of the town. Have you ever heard of the term "kissing cousins?" Well, you have this and more on your hands.

Also, have you ever thought that maybe b/c this is so "taboo" is the reason behind the attraction. Tabooness has been an alure in all cultures since the beginning of time, even so far as brother and sister, i.e., King Tut and Cleopatria - Egypt.

Finally, an attraction for a cousin at one point or another in a person's life, depending on the closeness of the relationship is all that uncommon.

When I was a young, I too had a crush on my blonde hair blue eyed cousin, who ironically looks like he could be my brother. Years later, I would finally have a baby brother who is now grown that reminds me all of the time of my cousin.

Personally, I think there is something missing in your life that made you go this far. It's something that you should evaluate.

Since you are family, you will always be in each other's life, one way or another. Honestly in some ways b/c he is a cousin the bond must feel stronger. That's what makes me believe that you fear something or you wouldn't have to resort to this "cousin" relationship in the first place.

Always remember this because it has worked for me for years. You can't cheat if you to NOT open your mind up to being attracted to anyone in first place. I have always wired to be monogamous, so I am not sure what it's like to have this attraction for someone else by being with someone else, but I do know that something in my brain just cuts off and does not fantasized or undresses anybody with my eyes. Cheating always begins with lack of control over what you are thinking in the mind. Overtime, with practice, I believe that one can be programmed as well.

Hope this helps!

;-)

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