A
female
age
41-50,
*ndistress!
writes:hi i recently had a six week affair with a married man, i am also married. it started out online then we realised we knew each other, we met up quite a few times kissing etc then we got more serious we had sex once. now i have heard nothing from him i only sent him one email asking him if it was over. He has not replied am i being selfish asking for closure? i think we both knew after we had sex that what we were doing was wrong, its not the physical side of things i miss but we could chat for hours and i miss his friendship. basically i know what we did was wrong has anyone else been in the same situation i dont want to text email or ring him as this puts him in a position and makes me look needy but i would like his friendship what can i do?
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affair, kissing, married man, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): You got used.Used and dumped.Your ego is in the shitter because you feel bad for what you did, and for what was done to you.See a professional counsellor, work on you, lose the loser boyfriend, and talk to your husband.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): It seems this is what he wanted. he used you for sex and lost. what is big deal here? is it so uncommon? 6 week was too short a time to go for sex any way. So best bet is focus on your marriage and forget your lust without responsibility. you have already cheated your family and with yourself.
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A
female
reader, rosie2057  +, writes (5 September 2011):
Let's see you're married, but you're upset that your also married fling won't provide you with some closure. Seriously?
I'm not trying to be mean, but you have emotional issues that cannot be solved on an agony board. Please talk about this with a professional.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (5 September 2011):
 he is married so it sounds like he was just looking for a bit of fun and as you are also married he thought you would be perfect for some no strings attached sex. he played the 'friendship' card in order to make you feel comfortable to have sex with, when he got sex he has dropped you and disregarded your friendship without even having the courtesy to say a proper goodbye to you. you see, his wife is his friend, he does not need a friend like you coz he knows that the more it goes on there is chance of it blowing up in his face and he loses his wife, home, kids. your friendship is not worth the risk to him.
you are just gonna have to get over whats happened, concentrate on the problems in your marriage that must have led you to looking elsewhere for friendship/attention/love/sex. if you and your husband can fix the problems - if you are inclined to, great, if not maybe you should consider breaking up and you and hubby can then be free to meet the partners who will make you happy
x
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (5 September 2011):
 You would like the friendship, but he doesn't. He wanted sex and did whatever was necessary to get to the end-line. Since he got what he wanted, he no longer expends his energy on you because he doesn't care about you as a person. There is nothing you can do. No one has the power to make or convince someone want to be your friend. It didn't work at the age of 6 and it certainly doesn't work with grown adults.
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