A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:He is my soulmate and i love him so much. i dont see myself loving someonelse,i hev tried but failed because i think of him all the time and he tells me he misse me too.Right i started dating this guy wen i was 18years old we loved each other so much that we alwaz spent so much time together,i just felt so secure wen i was with him, we had plans to get married and hev children in the near future.My father died and me and my mother moved to another city,it was very distant from my boyfrend yet we spent more hours on the phone everyday loving each other.we sent each other presents and all was good until he told me he and his family wer moving to another country and he told me tht he neva forget me and tht we will always be in touch,i was devasted so i started seeing another man but in rebound and because of the frustration, i got pregnant and the news came tht they wer nolonger going to another country.i almost died but we talked and told him i was okey seeing tht he was so devasted stupid me, wished things did not go tht way coz i heard ruined everything.we partways then with unressolved feelings,we rily loved each other.I saw him afta my baby was born he was 3months old and he told me tht her galfrend is 7 months pregnant.so my question is was he dating this gal while wwe we apart different cities or he dated her right after i told him of the pregnancy was it a rebound relationship with her coz the timing isnt right.He got married to this gal and now they have two kids together.To my side i find it so difficult to move on with my life, tried with the father of my baby he loves me so much but i can not luv him back the way he luvs me coz am still in luv with my ex so much,hev decided to be alone rather than to enslave myself and wasting his time,i just can notmove on please help.we met again after 8years and communicating by emails.we tell each other we miss but sometimes hes holding back like he doesnt want to tok wat can be the cause of tht?he asks me if i am married and tht are my feelings for him expired sometimes he lashes at me and i dont understand y,he wants to come and spend some time with me but am afraid tht will reconnect again and i dont want to destroy his marriage..but i just luv him and dont kno how i can move on..some men rily want to be with me but cant seem to luv them bek because of my ex..please help is this healthy.
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (25 September 2009):
 You can be in love with several people at the same time.
Your ex is someone that you imagine in your mind, as the person you knew. But he's changed and so have you.
You have the good fortune of having a man who loves you so much; and if you would finally give him a chance, and let him into your heart, then your ex will be a beloved and fond memory.
Its so sad what you've written because your love with the ex was broken by other people doing things and changing his life and taking him away from you; and in desperation and loneliness you ended up with someone else and he ended up with someone else.
Neither one of you wants to break up marriages now, and you have children with different people.
The only solution right now, is to simply love the one who is so dedicated to you. That love is precious. Love is so hard to find in this world as it is, and to have that kind of dedication is priceless.
I would say open your heart to this man who is there for you now, despite trying to be alone. I hope you didn't break up with him. But if you did and he loves you, then if he knows you've changed your heart, it won't matter.
I feel terrible for you because your heart is still stuck in a time-warp. What happened was terribly unfair, almost cruel. But never overlook what you have in your life. And it seems you have someone right there for you.
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