A
female
age
41-50,
*abyblueeyes
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. I have been divorced 2 years and have 2 children, he has been seperated 1 year and has a daughter aged 9. We all get along really well, but now and then the conversation comes up about what we both want out of the realtionship. I know what I want, but he always says he doesnt know. His wife just told him he didnt love him one day and we now know she is in a relationsip with another woman.My boyfriend always mentions that he is worried about the way she looks (weight loss) or that her attitude has changed. i think he is scared to move on because he is still worried about what she thinks. He says he has no feelings for her though. I am worried that I am just fun for the time being and one day he will end the relationship. I know it is early days for him yet. Am I rushing things?Do I just sit back and go with the flow or do I walk away before I get hurt. I just dont know where I stand and need advice.
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female
reader, babyblueeyes +, writes (10 January 2010):
babyblueeyes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice guys, it is really helpful. I am taking a step back and trying to chill, however, we spent a couple of days together at the weekend and I have noticed he is not as cuddly towards me of affectionate. He has stopped telling me he loves me. Do you think this is just part of what he is going through, and do I be patient and give him more time? He doesnt hardly answer my texts either, but I must admit i like to text him a few times a day. I am starting to think I am too much for him as I do like lots of attention.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 January 2010):
I think you're still in early days at the moment. Have some patience. You've both been hurt, and it can take time. I think he does like you, but I think you need to give him a little more time to make sure he knows what he wants. He is getting there, just a little slowly.
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A
female
reader, NordicWife  +, writes (1 January 2010):
Hi. My first thought was Why hurry?? You know how painful break ups are are if there is not a religious reason to be married, than don´t rush it. Enjoy the times you all ( your kids and his) have, do stuff together and get a feel of what he is all about. Think of your kids also, they deserve to see you in a happy healthy relationship, not a second broken home ( I am not saying this will happen, it´s just an idea). Take it easy, love each other and support him for his worries about his ex and the mom of his child, as he should support you in your life. All I am saying is enjoy your time together and do not think of the wedding bells...Best of luck to you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): Yea its hard especially when your feeling more for the other person then they are feeling for you. I dont know I was just in this situation myself. I was seeing someone for 6 months as well and to me things were wonderful, but he kept me thinking he wanted more he would tell me all kinds of wonderful things, but then when I mention my feelings he says he dont know what he wants either its been a yo-yo relationship and guess who got hurt in the long run yep me.So I would say take it slow. If he is not sure then dont waste your time. I wish I took that advice along time ago. I think us woman get swept up too fast and we always seem to get hurt.
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