A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been back and forth with a girl now for close to 5 years, we've never exclusively been classed as 'boyfriend/girlfriend" but we did spend around 2 years where we only slept with each other but still didn't put a label on things.Now the dilemma is that we really don't know what to do, there's a lot of feelings between us which is evident by the fact that whenever we drift apart from each other we always end up getting back into contact with one another. But neither of us want a relationship.Can something like this work out ? We both love each other's company and have a great sex life when we're on good terms and both declare how much we miss each other when we're not speaking.She had a very abusive ex boyfriend which she says gives her mental blocks from getting her into a relationship. I myself have never had a relationship and don't have a great desire for one. A lot of outsiders find this arrangement very strange.were both unsure as we don't know what the future will hold for us but at the same time we make each other happy, so is it worth throwing away the positive impact we have on each other's life because we're not in a relationship ? Or do you guys think it's okay to proceed and if any troubles arise down the line just deal with them then ?Sorry if this is confusing, I will be happy to answer any further questions that you guys may have.I await your responses, thank you.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 September 2016):
 It can work out if you are both always honest with each other, I mean none of us know what the future has in store, but if you are both happy at the moment with that plan then there is nothing or nobody to stop you from both doing what you want.
Will problems arise? Likely they will if one of you change your mind and want a relationship and the other doesn't, when it comes to that if you are both just honest with each other there should be no huge problem.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (13 September 2016):
 You ask: "..But neither of us want a relationship.
Can something like this work out ? "
Sure it can. You and she can play this game indefinitely, as long as you both agree with the rules and the play...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, malvern +, writes (13 September 2016):
 Hmmm this is a real tricky one! You appear to have a brother sister relationships, with benefits ! Or, as some people say, a 'friends plus relationship' which often occurs in much older singles couples. I think neither of you are ready for any kind of commitment at your age and this is quite understandable. If you're both happy as you are then I see no reason why you shouldn't continue as you are. One day in the future something is bound to happen that will change your current situation. Until that 'something' happens just enjoy yourselves until you are forced into any kind of decision.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2016): Sounds like youre GF and BF already. Because relationships are what you define them to be, esp just between you guys. Its undeniable you cant let each other go and have stability and comfort. and it sounds like a good GF and BF relationship, even without that title.
SOme people like to say they arent together, but they just are. Its in the way they look and act with each other. I think you both are together but you dont have to understand or make sense of everything all time. things shouldnt be black and white. just continue to have fun =)
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