A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship now for 9 months now. Lived on and off w each other for 6 years before this. When he moved for employment we agreed to see each other once a month and date other people(his idea)he does not want to commit to just me. I said fine, picked myself up, started dating. But he started to call, IM almost every night. I would go see him on our scheduled weekend then he would come up to see me. It's been almost every week or every other week we see each other. Now he wants to make plans for a vacation for us to go on. On the off week we don't see each other I notice he does not call or IM Thur or Fri night. So I start thinking and obsessing about what he's doing. I go from seeing him weekends in a row, talking on phone, IM, almost everyday to nothing. I feel caught up. I was supposed to be less attached by now. I don't know if I'm just hanging on thinking he will change his mind cause I do love him and miss him. When we were seeing each just once a month I was more in control to move on. Sorry just so confused. Just need some feedback on what to do?
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female
reader, shellie203 +, writes (10 July 2009):
you need to move on! come on he is still a child and wants to play games and no women needs that. if he can't give u what you need why stay? of course he is still gonna be in touch because he know you will answer! stop answering and change your whole attitude with him and not for a month for at least 4 month even if it kills you he will always keep contact and then things will be on your time and he will respect you more. no women should settle for that he wants to do what he wants to do and have you hanging around that's not good and you don't deserve that so don't take it. what is he doing for you?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help:[
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): What do you want? Are you wanting to ever get married? Do you really think a guy who has moved away from you and tells you to date other guys is committed to you, after more than 6 years of on again off again relationship?
Focus on what you actually want for your life and move on, tell him to quit calling you and seeing you so you can move on and date someone else. He has no motivation to change anything about this arrangement and just because he is calling and texting and planning future vacations does not mean that he thinks you are the one he is going to spend the rest of his life with....he is seeing other women.
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