A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My ex bf broke up with me a couple of weeks before he was due to leave for a long overseas holiday.This is how it happened. We had a huge fight one night because I wouldn't have sex with him. I believe in waiting, where as he doesn't view sex as anything special, he feels ok with going around and sleeping with girls he doesn't know. So this has caused a lot of strain on our relationship. The thing is though he knew from day one what my beliefs were and he said he was OK with that. He pretended he has similar views. When in actual fact, it turns out, he doesn't. When we had our fight, at first he said he wanted to just go on a break while he was overseas, see other people etc. But I was hesistant to agree because I didn't think it would help really. I wouldn't be able to bear the thought of him going overseas and sleeping around with all these girls and then to only come back to me and expect me to be waiting for him. That's hardly love if he can just do that. So I said I wasn't going to do that. Either we stay together or we break up. So he said we should break up. So we did. We talked about what that mean for us. I told him I didn't feel I could be friends with him. But I didn't want to be enemies either. I said that if I saw him in the street sure I would stop and say hi etc be polite, but we will never be able to be friends who just hang out etc because of the all the hurt. He said ok.I didn't hear from him until 1 day before he left for his holiday. He called me up saying he needed to see me urgently. I went to see him because I wanted to give him a chance to say whatever he felt as I assumed he had something important to say. But he didn't really. He just said he missed me so much and was great seeing me and wanted to see me before he left. He kept hugging me like you would hug your gf, not just a friend. And he was very touchy feely like he was when he was my bf. Hes not like this generally with anyone else. He also asked if i had been seeing anyone else, and he said he hadn't seen anyone else since we broke up. We said out goodbyes and he said he couldn't wait to see me again. This brought back soooo many emotions for me.Now its two weeks into his long overseas holiday and he sends me an email saying he is in Paris (yes, Paris of all places, the capital of romance!!). His email said that he has been thinking about me non stop while overseas and he misses me. What the? How can he say this? He started his email off all nice saying he loved me and bla bla. Then he went into bragging mode in which he started going on about how he had been so many awesome parties and met all these awesome new people. What? This doesn't make sense. I feel like hes toying with my emotions. I don't get what he is doing. Part of me thinks he is just trying to keep me hanging on so when he gets back from his holiday, Ill be hear waiting for him and we can get back together. This way he can sleep around overseas, and still have a gf when he gets back. I don't know really, I am quite confused. I am interested in anyone else's ideas about what is going on in my situation. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009): If you want a monogamous relationship and your BF sees sex as something casual and would have no problems in having affairs, you might suffer a lot. I experienced the same thing with my ex BF. He used to say that it can happens in a relationship that you feels attraction for another person than the regular partner and that it is not an issue to have sex with said person as long as you tell it to your regular partner.We had big fights about this matter and I always ended up crying. I told him "What is more important to you: having 10 minutes of sexual pleasure with another woman knowing that it would hurt me terribly or refraining from your sexual pulsions not to hurt me?"Your BF knows that it hurts you knowing he might sleep with other women and that you don't want this type of relationship.I think you deserve a guy who wants the same type or relationship as you, monogamous and based on fidelity.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009): If you want a monogamous relationship and your BF sees sex as something casual and would have no problems in having affairs, you might suffer a lot. I experienced the same thing with my ex BF. He used to say that it can happens in a relationship that you feels attraction for another person than the regular partner and that it is not an issue to have sex with said person as long as you tell it to your regular partner.We had big fights about this matter and I always ended up crying. I told him "What is more important to you: having 10 minutes of sexual pleasure with another woman knowing that it would hurt me terribly or refraining from your sexual pulsions not to hurt me?"Your BF knows that it hurts you knowing he might sleep with other women and that you don't want this type of relationship.I think you deserve a guy who wants the same type or relationship as you, monogamous and based on fidelity.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009): He is stringing you along. Dont buy it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009): Sorry to be bluntly harsh but there is 6,946,170,390+ people on this earth - don't waste your time on a player, you'll end up with an STD and a broken heart.
Stay true to your beliefs and when the right guy comes along, he will respect that and you.
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