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Way too much drama involving my cat and my roommate while I'm away on holiday

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Question - (1 August 2021) 8 Answers - (Newest, 4 August 2021)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I left my cat with the woman I was staying with while I went to see my ldr bf. The trip is a month and I'm halfway through now. I never asked her to watch her she said she would and it would be no problem and since I got here it's been nothing but hassle and drama. She somehow escaped three times in 48 hours and then the woman decided to go and visit her family for two weeks and leave her locked in a bathroom with one of the other people we know coming to feed her every other day. I left her with enough food to last a few months. And now they're asking for money for food saying she doesn't have any. She's gone to stay with one of her other friends and she's telling me to change my flights and come back and that she knows someone who can do it who works at the airport. I've already prepaid all the tickets home including two different train tickets and the covid tests which are non transferable. Every other time I've been gone on holidays or trips and hired a pet sitter and never had an issue. Now I'm really angry that I can't relax for even one day without them asking me to come back or for money. I'm not sure what to say now as they won't stop having a go at me for it. I was very clear in the beginning and this trip was planned for months. I get accused of enjoying a holiday while they have kids to watch and my cat but while I've been away I've been helping with a move and decorating, which has been stressful as it is. I never thought when she offered it would be all this drama since we live together anyway.

View related questions: money, on holiday, roommate

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2021):

She volunteered to watch the cat and now she's belly-aching about how much trouble it is??? My goodness! You're in such a dilemma, because you have to worry about the safety and welfare of your pet!

This is just one of those issues that traps you in what seems to be a no-win situation. You have to own some responsibility, because you trusted someone you really weren't sure you can rely on to keep your pet, in hopes of saving a few bucks, or for convenience.

You must not have lived with this person very long; or you might have known how unreliable and underhanded she is. I can only imagine how upset you are, but cats are resourceful animals; and they can find shelter and places to hide until they're found when they escape. They rarely venture away too far. I hate the thought of the cat locked in a bathroom all day!!!

You have little choice but to finish-out your vacation; but you should call a friend to check-in on your cat. Next time, please have a Plan B; because anyone can bailout or disappoint you at the last-minute.

It's always better to place an animal in a reliable kennel or pet hotel; but sometimes you're under budget-constraints that won't allow for it. It's best to keep a separate account aside for your pet emergencies; so if you do have to make trips, or leave on unexpected emergencies; and there's no-one you can depend on to watch your cat.

I had a Maine Coon cat and a black cat, and had to place them in a kennel while we traveled on vacation. The black cat was glad to see us upon our return; but the Maine Coon rolled her eyes and wouldn't look at me for nearly two weeks! I mean she literally gave me the silent treatment, and ignored me as if I were invisible! I wonder what she would have been like if I left her with a friend? She was so uppity, and she didn't like strangers; which is why I couldn't ask a friend to keep her. She'd try to runaway! It's hard to ask people to look after only one cat, let alone two! Especially, when you know one is Houdini and an escape-artist!

Best of luck, my dear! Try to enjoy yourself in spite of the situation. Deal with it when you get home. If you have a friend you can count on, call them to pick-up your cat!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2021):

YOu will have to suck it up this time but learn from it. Pay a et sitter when you want someone to do it properly. No such thing as a free lunch. I have pets, I would never ever leave them with a person who is not responsible, reliable, etc. and sadly people tend to be a lot more reliable when paid. My next door neighbour often offers to take care of y pets but I say no. Because she is a drunk, she is unreliable, and her idea of taking care of them is just playing with them when she is bored. She would also be wanting to keep coming in and out of my place every five minutes even when I am here and don't need help, as if she lives here - using it as an excuse to chatter away for hours whenever it suits her.People aren't going to put their lives on hold to save you paying a pet sitter. They do it because it suits them in some way. If you can afford vacations you can afford to have them taken care of by a pet sitter. If you are only away for few days you get one of those pet feeders that spits out so much food every 12 or 24 hours, and a water feeder that does the same thing. Then you do not need to let anyone into your home nor rely on someone.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2021):

YOu will have to suck it up this time but learn from it. Pay a et sitter when you want someone to do it properly. No such thing as a free lunch. I have pets, I would never ever leave them with a person who is not responsible, reliable, etc. and sadly people tend to be a lot more reliable when paid. My next door neighbour often offers to take care of y pets but I say no. Because she is a drunk, she is unreliable, and her idea of taking care of them is just playing with them when she is bored. She would also be wanting to keep coming in and out of my place every five minutes even when I am here and don't need help, as if she lives here - using it as an excuse to chatter away for hours whenever it suits her.People aren't going to put their lives on hold to save you paying a pet sitter. They do it because it suits them in some way. If you can afford vacations you can afford to have them taken care of by a pet sitter.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (2 August 2021):

Fatherly Advice agony auntI have 2 cats. I've had more pets in the past but this is it. I have a geriatric male and an older female. I suspect in 2 or 5 years I will be petless. I'm looking forward to the freedom. But even then I will not be able to take a 1 month or even two weeks vacation.

Aside from my lack of luxury I do understand how you and your cat are suffering. I know how upset they get when you are gone. I've had better luck in the past when I've been able to get a daughter to pet sit while I've been gone for a week.

I do hop your kitty forgives you when you do eventually return. I've suffered some pretty serious vindictiveness from the female.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2021):

I would be livid at the roomate.This is your fur baby a live animal.How dare she.Get a good friend to bring your cat to the kennel.It sucks but really I could not trust anyone at this point.Remember this....This roommate is someone who you can never rely on ever.Very untrustworthy.Get a new roomate.poor cat.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2021):

Do you know anyone else that could temporarily look after th4 cat or take it to a professional cat kennel while you are away? Cats are only partly domesticated so as long as the cat can get into the garden it will probably find sufficient food (mice, birds) and look after itself ok. It might need water but if your friend can leave a bucket out it should be ok. It might not be very happy but will probably survive. However ideally you will find someone else to collect the cat and care for it.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (2 August 2021):

kenny agony auntI don't know why she even said she would look after your cat while you were away. If she said nothing you would have known where you stood and arranged alternative arrangements for someone else to look after your cat.

I know she has left you in a bit of a dilema, and has proved to be rather unreliable too.

All i can think of is a friend or family member take over the responsibility till you get home.

Or get her, or a friend to take the cat to the nearest cat kennels and you ring up and pay for it over the phone. I don't think you have to many other options here really.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (2 August 2021):

Honeypie agony auntYikes!

Can you call a family member or REAL friend to stop by and feed the cat/clean the litter box every other day? Maybe offer them some duty-free as a payment?

I had a neighbor watch my cat while I was gone for a long weekend and THANKFULLY I had put out enough food and water because my neighbor FORGOT to feed the cat... So I came home to an angry & hungry kitty and an icky litterbox.

The thing is they are telling you that they don't want to do it anymore and are out of food so YOU need to figure out what you need to do - who you need to get to take over the job. ASAP. And then when you get home, well time to look for a new place to live.

While I think she is an IDIOT for agreeing to look after the car for a month and then bailing... the cat IS your relasonsibility.

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