A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I would like to start out this question by saying I think masturbation is healthy and I never used to have problems with it. Now the question. I never even bothered to think about whether my boyfriend masturbated, because I really didn't care if he did. We have always had a fantastic sex life. We're also very open with each other and communicate well. I thought it would be hot to watch him masturbate, so I asked him. He was shy at first but did it once or twice for me. I thought it would be exciting. And watching him did excite me way more than I could have hoped, and I let him watch me back. However, afterward I felt horrible. The way he handled himself was so different from what I expected even though I'm very good at handjobs and it was pretty much what I imagined in my head speedwise and whatnot. His orgasm was just as intense looking as when we have sex even though he says masturbation feels ridiculously unpleasing next to sex and is just a physical release. He says he doesn't masturbate when I'm around because it doesn't feel even close to as good plus his sex drive just isn't that high, but due to work one of us has had to be out of town for a week or two at a time lately so I know he takes care of himself. He even said he has been practicing lasting longer so he does it multiple times a day when I'm not around, having very long self-love sessions of upwards of 45 minutes. I know the build-up is the best part and the longer you build it up, the better the release is. So that means at this point his masturbation sessions must rival sex (we had the conversation where he said masturbation is nothing compared to sex before he has been having incredibly long sessions with himself). And now I obsess about his masturbating and it makes me feel incredibly betrayed, sad, and useless at sex. It keeps me up at night sometimes and is sometimes the first thought in my head in the morning. What should I do?
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hand-job, orgasm, sex drive, sex life, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (15 August 2009):
 Theres nothing you can do really if he still satisfies you sexually then dont worry about it but if you have a gf masterbating is like cheating lol
A
male
reader, urbanking99  +, writes (15 August 2009):
What should you do - every time your horny make sure he knows it and have sex or make love as oftne as possible.
Everything the others have said is true. Its definitely more fun playing with someone else than playing on your own.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2009): Have you turned this problem around for a second?
When YOU masturbate, does it match the way that it looks when he does it to you? As when he has intercourse or oral with you? I'll bet it doesn't look the same.
So does this mean you don't really want sex with him? Because you can technically do certain things better with your own hands? I am guessing you still want sex with him, technical perfection by his hand or not.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (15 August 2009):
 He is right, masturbation just ain't the same, at least not for me and I presume a lot of guys. In a way, it is like blowing your nose.
There is more to sex then just the release of sperm.
Try to get your head around this: Men do not cuddle, women cuddle but men are cuddled by women and the men that do not cuddle, mis the woman who cuddles them.
He really is the best judge of what is best for him. If he says that sex with you is better then masturbation, you need to stop doubting yourself and accept the word from the horses mouth.
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A
female
reader, misztoria +, writes (15 August 2009):
 Don't stress! Sex and masturbation are two similar but different expriences. He's not going to stop having sex with you to be by himself and I'm almost positive he rather have sex with you 10 times a day rather than play with himself, but that's pretty hard to do. You should be happy he's so open with you and isn't ashame to tell you about his session with himself especially because he's doing it FOR you. I wish my man would practice on holding out longer for me, but he's lazy and is particular about masturbation. Look on the bright side, he's probably thinking about you during his sessions! Good luck hun.
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