A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone! Soooo I have a bit of a problem...This summer was a pretty crazy one for me. I lost my virginity to my bestfriend. We didn't start dating or anything, but I didn't expect him to be talking to another girl. Throughout the summer i guess he was trying to get with this other girl, but the whole time me and him where still messing around. We didn't have sex again but we made out, did oral sex, etc. We would also send like dirty text messages to eachother and he even requested for me to send him pictures. And the whole time we did these things he was talking to that other girl.The problem is that him and other girl actually started going out. I feel kind of hurt and used in this whole situation. Me and the guy were bestfriends for awhile previous to this whole mess, but now I feel like he just used me for sex!So him and the other girl started going out and I thought me and him were done messing around and everything. But the other day when me and him where alone for a about five minutes he started like touching me and feeling on me, and i didn't stop him or anything. He stopped though because our friend came back in the room with us. So, I was kind of shocked that he did that because he has a gf! Is that considered cheating? Also, later on that night he started sending me multiple dirty text messages about oral sex. They were very descriptive. I tried to play them off as jokes but he kept going with them to the point where I started going along with the dirty text messages too. The next day I was thinking about how it seems kind of wrong that he sent me those messages while he has a gf.And recently his gf came to me for help. Since me and him hang out with the same group of friends, we are always together. His gf asked me if I knew anything about my friend cheating on her. This was after he touched me and sent me the messages. I decided not to respond to her because I didn't know what to say! Was what happened between me and him considered cheating? Should I just leave the whole situation alone? And how can I stop feeling hurt about my friend finding a gf while he messed around with me?Feedback is appreciated, thanks. :)
View related questions:
lost my virginity, oral sex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 egver wonder where the term "right hand girl" came from? I think you are one. Let him go away as fast as he can go away. Friends are friends not orgasm aids.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): He is using you, and it's because you have been eagerly making it convenient for him to do so. There is a reason why so many people don't have sex until they declare themselves BF/GF.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 And you call this your best friend? Geez, what a smuck. He was using you for sex. And no friend would ever do that, none the less cheat on their friend. Your "friend" was cheating on both of you in a way because even if he wasn't dating you officially he should have had the common sense to understand that fooling around with more women at once, without their consent, is something you just don't do. And then he continues with raunchy texts after getting into an official relationship...
Tell his new girlfriend what he did over the summer with you, and about the texts. Then ignore this boy and cut him out. You don't need people like him in your life. He needs to grow up and put his penis back into his pants.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): Yes, he's using you, and YES you should run from him for your life and NEVER look back. keep your dignity and don't get caught up in the sex messaging. Reserve that for someone who actually cares for you. Tell that girl of his, "You know, I wouldn't trust him if I were you." And just delete him from everything. I had a "best friend" too. When I booted him out the door and deleted him from everything (Facebook, MSN, skype), he tried to keep texting me. I ignored it, and I have never been happier, and a friend of mine told me that he know has a whole new level of respect for me. Your friend is not a friend - stop calling him that. Would YOU do to him what he has done to you? Didn't think so. Run.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 July 2010):
 People are used only because they allow themselves to be used. If you are allowing him to feel free to grope you whenever it crosses his mind it's entirely your own fault. Knock off this nonsense and your problem is solved.
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (29 July 2010):
 I agree with Gabrielle. This boy DID cheat on you, AND his gf.
Better that you cut all ties with him now, rather than continue this cat-and-mouse game.
Ny the way, having oral sex is STILL having sex! It's just not intercourse......
...............................
A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (29 July 2010):
I reckon he's experimenting and getting as much sex as he can wherever - which is actually probably how most teenage boys behave if they can find girls willing to take part.
It's up to you whether you want to be a part of it - so far you seem to have gone along with a lot of what he wanted to do - and anyway - didn't you get some pleasure out of the sex and the playing around as well ?
So you and your group of friends both male and female are experimenting and playing around - I think if you were just honest about it to yourselves and one another you could enjoy the sex without the guilt. ( Stock up on condoms though ).
...............................
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (29 July 2010):
 Yes, he's using you. Yes, he's showing an inclination to cheat on his girlfriend, though whether he has actually done it depends on how his gf defines 'cheating'. You need to stop considering this creep as your 'friend', I guess. And his gf has a right to know, no?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): Yes its considered cheating, and really isnt fair to you or this other girl. You need to talk to your friend and explain how you feel, and even if the fooling around stops you can still be friends. But if he is your friend he should understand. Also did you ever discuss friends with benefits because he might be confused. If you are feeling used why are you letting this continue? You can stop this easily. Its all coming down to your reaction to the situation.
...............................
|
