A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:just broke up with a guy I dated for about 6 weeks bc he wasn't attentive enough. I began pulling by canceling our weekend plans and turning down his request to spend time together on Thursday. Although he could tell I was upset, he still acted like we were a couple... So when I texted him Friday afternoon and said we need to talk soon, he said "I know." I asked him to call me that night. He said 'ok' but he never did. So I texted him Saturday morning and said, "I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk on the phone last night, but maybe words are better to write anyhow. I think we both know this isn't working."He wrote back and said he agreed. He wanted to talk on the phone. I called him that night after work, and all he had to say was, "I enjoyed our time together and I'm sorry it didnt work out. I'm glad it's amicable and mutual." (we work together.) After hanging up, I texted him asking when he decided it wasn't working, and he said it was the night i canceled our wkd plans and declined to see him on Thursday. So he really didnt think anything was wrong until that happened. He didn't ask, but I volunteered that it was because we didn't spend enough time together. Him: I figured it was the lack of time. This was a really busy month for me but I should have been better about that. That was my fault and I'm sorry.Him: I really did want to be with just you and only you.Me: I wanted that too. I think we just had different ideas of what that meant.Him: :-( I'm sorry I didn't make enough timeMe: No apologies necessary. We were just looking for two different types of relationships.--He never responded to that. He hasn't textd me since (it's been a week.) We've been friendly at work. Today he finally resumed stopping up at my desk to talk to me (something he had always done before the breakup.) Today he did it 3 times, and he keeps saying inside jokes with a few sexual inuendos, just like when we were dating. Any insight? Was this a mutual breakup? Or did he pull away first? Does he maybe want me back? Or is he just flirting for fun? Thanks in advance.
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female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (3 April 2011):
The actual breakup sounds pretty mutual. It sounds like you were more the one to instigate it but if he wasn't being overly attentive then maybe that was his way of trying to back out of the relationship. It's possible he wants you back but seeing as he hasn't texted and gave you space for a week it could be that he wants to get past it being awkward at work and just to be on speaking terms. The jokes could simply be him trying to be friendly or nerves even.If he keeps joking about sexual innuendos frequently or starts flirting, then that's a good sign he wants to try again but I'd wait a few weeks until he's totally comfortable and more or less over the initial breakup and then see what he's saying.
A
female
reader, StarryEyes101 +, writes (2 April 2011):
 Hey.
I think he agreed to the break up 'coz you wanted it. I don't think he wanted it at all. Yea, i think he still wants you. he probably backed off a bit 'coz he knew something was wrong your end, and he didn't know what to do or say to make you change your mind.
Perhaps his way of stopping by and flirting or whatever is his way to either get on with it, or try to change your mind about the break up.
I hope this helps
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