A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'd like your opinion. I was going out with my ex from March 2013 to Nov 2013, he called a halt to our relationship after I text him asking what was up and not to shut me out. I was right, there was something up, but he called it all off. In the meantime there were a few texts back and forth, then one saturday he turned up at me house at 4am drunk to see me, I was asleep didnt hear him. Fast forward to xmas- I get a text early am "happy xmas" to which I politely reply. I get asked to go meet him at 3am in the morning - I don't obviously. Then on new years I get a number of calls from him again him wanting me to collect him, he was drunk. I arranged a lift for him home to his own house. I get a phone call at 5am thanks for lift, could I ring in sick to work for him - I do. Over next few days I try to arrange to meet him to talk as I'm sick of the carry on. It falls through, he tells me he cant give me what I want. Then after about a week he texts me early am. apologising wishing he had a chance to explain things - wanting me to drive to him a 4am in the morning - I don't. Now I haven't heard from him in a week. I've began to realise he was just using me when he felt like it. Does it look like I was used?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): Thanks for ur comments just needed an eye opener from march to nov the relationship was really good. I got the feeling he had some personal issues to deal with I got the impression he had depression or something , hewas really getting down when went out at the weekend he would isolate himself for a number of days. so I'm best stayin well clear thanks for your comments. I'm was just luking for advice twoz hard for me to believe someone I spent a lot of time with could treat me like that - ill learn for future ref:-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): Yes. It sounds like he isn't into you when he's sober. When he gets drunk he wants you for sex.
If you don't believe that, test him. Next time he texts you, ask him to meet you in a coffee shop in the middle of the day (when he hasn't been drinking) to talk about the relationship between you. If he has any genuine feelings to be with you, he will turn up and talk. If he's not into you, he'll make excuses or won't even answer you. Then you know what to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): Well he can't use you if you didn't allow it, but yes he was trying to. Although you don't shed much light on what happened between march and november, I can guarantee you that after that, you were nothing but a booty call to him. At that point, he just wanted sex, nothing more.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (31 January 2014):
 p.s. I meant his nonsense, not that you were doing anything wrong other than giving him the time of day.
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A
male
reader, DragonMan +, writes (31 January 2014):
 Greetings,This is me being blunt, YESYou are being used and part of you refuses to do anything about it. You could block his number, change your number etc but you refuse to do so, maybe in the name of 'why should I?'However you then complain to a site like this about this action.Block his number and stop doing him favours
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (31 January 2014):
 Maybe will I be rude, but my advice is (to you and everyone): DON'T EVER date an alcoholic nor a junkie. They (almost) never change until they have badly hurt somebody's heart (or face). People who do their best to not being sound of mind by taking any sort of narcotic are unfaithful, unworthy and in a way or in another, dangerous for them and their relatives.
The end of your relationship is the best thing that could happen to you, even if sometimes good luck occurs under the back luck appearance.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (31 January 2014):
He keeps contacting you when he's drunk, it seems, not when he's sober and has his wits about him. Stop doing favours for him, in fact stop responding to him all together. He can't give you what you want in a relationship and he can't even act like a normal friend. I think it's best to just stop all contact after a relationship ends, or this sort of nonsense happens.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (31 January 2014):
 Does it look like you were "used"? Hmm, it looks like he TRIED to use you for late night/early morning booty calls and you ignored those.
The calling his work when he was hungover was your choice, you seem quite capable of saying no.
Why not just block him? If it didn't work out why keep in touch? Why keep doing "favors" for him? What did you expect in return?
And why waste any more time on him when you knew it really wasn't going to work?
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