A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm so upset. I noticed that my boyfriend has added a woman on his Facebook page. She lives in another country. There are photos on there of her dressed in revealing clothes. The clothes aren't revealing on all the photos, but she is dressed up on most of them. Underneath one of the photos, there are a couple of men asking for her phone number, and telling her that she is beautiful and sexy. She has replied to them saying that she wants to text them on their mobile phone numbers. I told my boyfriend that I was upset about this. He said if he was up to no good, he would look on another website, not on Facebook. I am on his friends list on there, and it does say that he is in a relationship on there, and there are photos of me on there. Sometimes, my boyfriend posts photos of me on his timeline, saying how much he loves me, but he hasn't done that for a while. He hasn't deleted this woman. I wish he would. What could he possibly have in common with this woman?. I don't think he would have added her unless there was some interest in her. She is a random person that he has never met. I don't think they have any mutual friends on Facebook either.Also, he used to be ok with me looking at his messages on Facebook, but last week, he said he didn't want me to look at them, because some of his male friends might have wanted their conversations to be private.I love him so much, and it does seem like he loves me when I am with him. He says that he has been faithful with every partner that he has had,and said that he wouldn't be unfaithful because he knows how much it hurts. Some of his partners have been unfaithful to him. He said I am being paranoid about this woman, and he hung up the phone. I discussed this on the phone with him. What should I do?.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2014): my name is Victora and I am happy that [email address blocked] me
bring my boyfriend back, my boyfriend has started loving me again and
he has promise to get married to me and have kids with me, he said he
love me and he will never go close to any woman accept me and promise
to get married to me next week.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): I guess I could give him space, but what if he gets angry that I haven't contacted him or gone to his house, as he did say that he wants to see how much I miss him?.I'm also worried that he might have added this woman because there is something that he doesn't like about our relationship. I don't think that should be any excuse though.I cant just pretend that I am ok with him adding this woman, as it is breaking my heart. And I think I have a right to be feeling insecure. If he didn't want me to be insecure, he shouldn't have made me feel like that in the first place. And I agree that he is being disrespectful towards me. How would he feel if I added a guy like that on my facebook page, which I never have?.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): I think its rude that he would add a random woman like that, especially one with a sexy profile. It is showing disregard and non chalance toward you and your relationship. Whether it is in person or on the internet, people in relationships should be considerate of their partner. I don't believe in the "its just facebook" argument. Facebook is a social website where you interact with friends and family and being devious or showing disregard on it can be just as humiliating and questionable as if it were done in person.With that said, I wouldn't let him know you are worried about it. In fact, I wouldn't mention it again. Sometimes men need space. Maybe the relationship is getting a little suffocating for him and so he is acting out a little bit to reclaim his manhood. This is totally normal, guys do this all the time. I read an article that says, men are like rubber bands. The more you pull, the more distant he gets. When you let go, he will bounce right back to you. The more insecure you act, the more distant he will get. And stuff like this will continue to pop up, maybe even get worse. He, for whatever reason, wants space right now. He doesn't want you suffocating him. So don't. Stop questioning him, respect his wishes for his privacy and act cool. This doesn't mean you shouldn't keep your eyes open, but give him breathing room. For all you know, he may even be testing you. Maybe he is thinking of forever with you and he wants to know what kind of woman you are. Are you the type who's going to crumble and fall apart because he adds a woman on facebook who lives on the other side of the world? Or are you the type who has the confidence and enough going for her to see how insignificant this is in the grand scheme of things, and therefore wouldn't bother even batting a lash over it. Show him that you are the type of girl who can tackle all sorts of situations in a cool manner. Don't mention this again. It is making you come off as needy and extremely insecure. Both bad qualities and surefire ways of killing his attraction for you. Be confident!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): I'm worried about the timing as well, from when he didn't want me to look at his messages. I can't stop crying. I love him so much. He wanted me to go and see him today, but I don't want to.He said he is going to see how much I miss him, and he said he is going to stop contacting me. That won't help. I don't want to keep contacting him though, and I don't want to go to his house unless we have arranged it.I don't think he has been on facebook again since I mentioned this woman to him. If he doesn't delete her soon, I am going to leave him. But then again, the trust may be broken now anyway, as he has already added her, and he might only be deleting her because I asked him too, not because he wants to.Do you think I should just not contact him at all and see what happens?.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): Why would he insist that he keep this particular woman on his Facebook page, if he knows why it upsets you? Suddenly not wanting you to view his messages would add to suspicion; considering his timing.
If he wasn't keeping her pictures in revealing clothing, he could argue the innocence behind it. She offers her number to men; which could only mean he may have interest in her beyond a chat. Maybe sexting?
She lives in another country; which lessons any threat of her physically coming between you. He's got a reason he's not deleting her.
I guess you have to come right out and tell your boyfriend you feel all his behavior about this woman is coming off too suspiciously. I don't really think he is being honest about it, and I think you've seen more signs of wear in your relationship than him keeping pictures of this woman on Facebook.
I guess it comes down to you accepting it, or listening to your gut feeling. If trust was there to begin with, this wouldn't be an issue.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2014): I agree with you. Its disrespectful and you can sense that. I would be suspicions.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (31 January 2014):
I don't think he's up to no good because she might not even be a real person. I get requests from women in revealing clothes with no real friends, just pervy guys asking for their phone number or telling them they're beautiful. I don't know what their scam is... Maybe to get them to send money or something.
I think it brings into question your boyfriend's judgment, not only his fidelity.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 January 2014):
 So why does he so DESPERATE want to keep her as his friend if she is just some random chick? Makes no sense if it was a. random lady and b. innocent.
What do you do?
I would just tell him that you don't understand WHY he NEEDS to be "fb-friends" with that woman. On the other hand, you don't seem like you trust him a whole lot. I get that the "chick" is not a FRIEND and it's a little sketchy as to WHY she is on his page.
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