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Was there another girl involved or was I assuming things?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 August 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 24 August 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was dating a guy for 3 months! He spend everynight at my house but everything we did was out of town never in the city we live in! He started putting his phone on vibrate or turning it off all together at night! He started to show up at my house later and later so, I ended it because I had a gut feeling there was another chick involved some how some way! He says there wasn't I was assuming things! Ok ladies and gentlemen to tell me what you think! Was I assuming things or did his action speak for themselves?!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yeah, I felt mine was as well and I ended it!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010):

mine did exactly the same, all the same signs.. and he was :( sorry

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys!

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A male reader, Pazush Israel +, writes (20 August 2010):

Pazush agony aunthi,

dont forget, you know him only for 3 months.

he probably had earlier relatives before he met you.

he might had a long one either or any other complicated relationship.

sometimes, staying and resolving issues build trust and meeting you a great person. be patient.

stop interpret details, insted of talking directly with him

altough its naturaly scares you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok everyone has a good point! But Cerberus, I pointed the things out that made me feel he was cheating to him,I even wrote him a letter because sometimess u get a better understanding from written words (: and yet he did nothing to reassure me any different! He had fb page and so did I but I noticed his stated he was single looking to date,etc! So asked him to change it and he did to I'm in a relationship but its complaicated! I was to fit to be tied! Then after I asked wat was complaicated abt our relationship he deleted his whole page! The stories go on and on! All I ever asked is that he let it be known that he was in a relationship... Period!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010):

Haha remind me never to date you. I too am a person that puts my phone on silent at night when I'm with my girlfriend. I do it because I want to give her all my attention and don't want to be disturbed.

Also I do it every night when I go to bed because I don't want to be woken up by a text or phone call, I have friends that will text me things when they're out to let me know if something fun is happening or to find out if they can come back to my place for more drinking.

The fact that he kept you separate from his life is kind of suspicious I agree, but I too keep my new girls separate from my life and friends until I've gotten to know her well. My friends are very open and honest about everything and I like to introduce new girls to me slowly, whereas on night out with them and she know all my embarrassing stories. Plus you just don't know how a girl will be when she's out with your friends.

I dated one girl a few years back and we started hanging out with my friends early on. It turns out she was talking about our sex life to them and quizzing them on my exes and stuff. it wasn't pretty. I prefer to get secure in a relationship before I start including that woman in my life.

Okay saying all this, it's just me. It's possible that's the way he is too. But it is also very possible you were the 'other' girl or something like that too.

My point is assume nothing, you don't know for sure what it was so there's no point in jumping to conclusions. People can have strange habits and strange reasons for these habits but it doesn't always mean they're bad if you know what I mean.

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A male reader, Pazush Israel +, writes (20 August 2010):

Pazush agony aunti think there is an even more simple solution for youre issue, call him and tell him you like to meet in hes place.

there, you can find signs for another woman.

hope you wouldnt =\

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 August 2010):

Honeypie agony auntIt's hard to tell. Maybe you were over analyzing his every move, which indicate that you didn't trust him any further then you could throw him, but.... with that said, a girl's got to trust her gut instincts.

Whether he cheated or not, you need to let it go and move on. IF he cheated that has nothing to do with you, that was something HE DID & HE CHOSE.

It does sound like a few red flags, but it doesn't always equate cheating.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010):

Certainly sounds like he was up to no good.

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