A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Two months back, my girlfriend dumped and I had to accept her decision with broken heart. We had a breakup before as well but we patched up in just three months. She dumped now saying that because I was not having a good job and she didn’t think I was going to have one soon. We had been in a relationship for two years. It was distance relationship, talking on the phone most of the time. We had met only thrice that’s it. During that relationship , I had noticed one thing that most of the time I would call her, she would SMS me asking to call her and I would do so...so in simple words I would use my money to call her and keep that relationship going. I hardly remember she putting credit in her cellophane and calling me despite the fact she was from a family which was financially well off. The question is not that why she didn’t spend a single pinney on me which I didn’t want either, but just wanted her showing that she cared for me by putting credit in her cellphone to call me which was very small thing for her to do.Oh yeah. In March this year, when I asked to edit my story so that it could be published , she refused to do so. I knew that she had good command of written English that’s why sought her help. Does that mean she was not giving importance to our relationship?...in more plain words she was not serious with me? Or it was me who was making all the efforts in that relationship which still I couldn’t stop from ending up in a disaster? I am finding it really tough getting over that relationship. Comments form you guys would be appreciated!Regards,Brokenheard2010,Rawalpindi,Pakistan
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (13 September 2010):
Sometimes there are relationships where one person gives and the other person takes and maybe demands. Those are generally not very satisfying as one person (you, in this case) feels used and unappreciated.
It could be that she didn't value the relationship as much as you did and didn't care as much. Generally, when you care about someone more you want to do more for them. It could also be that she is naturally a more selfish person and doesn't think of doing things for others.
Either way, the relationship is now over, and it will take some time to get over as you seem to care about her a lot. It will just take some time of you distancing yourself from her and it, and doing new fun things in your life (hobbies, going out with friends, meeting new people). And look on the bright side that things are ending with someone who didn't put as much effort as you would like and didn't value you as much as you should be valued. Now, you know that next time you should find someone that gives as well. And that if you end up doing all the giving, you should talk to them about it, and see if they will try harder. If not, you know the relationship doesn't mean enough to them.
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