A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last week my girlfriend of about one year arranged to meet her father last night. She seemed very excited, its not often they get together despite living in the same city. She came by to see me after work, and went off to get a shower. The hot water was out, so she had to go home to get one. We said our goodbyes and I expected to not see her until tonight. I noticed as she left, she grabbed some of her (clean) clothes to wear, but picked up a set of quite sexy red lace underwear and matching bra. Odd I felt, but she wears sexy underwear all the time, so meh. I told her thats probably not appropriate for meeting her dad then gave her another set (white).She calls me not an hour later, after her shower, to say her dad has canceled on her as he is very sick. Bad legs and also some kind of virus. He has canceled so she wants to meet up with me. "sure can" thinks I and we get together. She gets to my place and I discover that she has "cleaned the garden" downstairs so to speak (shaved). She said that she did it for me (although we have to bear in mind that at the point she was in the shower, the belief was that she was not seeing me that night). Then she said she was shaving her legs, so did it anyway (she usually only does that for occasions when she knows we will both be naked together)As we are talking, she then lets slip we are missing a family gathering from Friday, 500 miles away. And co-incidentally, the 'sick' father who hardly ever sees his daughter (and would jump at the chance normally) is in fact making the journey up to Chico to go party and hanging out with the students. I asked her about all of this, outright. She told me i was being paranoid and she would never do that to me. She eventually made me feel like it was all in my head (shes a psychologist by degree). What should I do? Am I just seeing things?
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female
reader, bday121  +, writes (24 May 2008):
 Her story is definitely strange and I don't blame you for being suspucious. Good job on voicing your opinions to her rather than bottling them up. I suggest you keep your eyes open and pay attention to the things your gf is doing - look for any changes in her normal routines. Random mood swings, changes in sex drive, lame excuses for "outings", and anger or indifference expressed toward you are good signs that something's up. Also, keep asking your gf what's she doing and where she's going if it seems suspicious. Call her out if she gives you a lame excuse for something. If in a couple weeks her behavior is getting weirder, then try to sneak a peak at her cell phone call log. If you notice a new number that's calling a lot, you should investigate it. Yeah, that's snooping, but you deserve to know the truth!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 May 2008):
 I don't think you're seeing things. Her story just doesn't add up. It is very, very likely that she's involved with another man. If you follow her story, she went to see her father (that takes some travel time), he cancelled, she returned home, she shaved, and all that happened in one hour or so. Why the shaving? Because "her father" is sick?
Keep your eyes wide open.
It was so right of you to speak about this right at the spot. I suggest you test her. Ask her not to go to that meeting. See her reaction.
By the way, tell her that you're not asking her to be your psychologist, and that EVERYONE can cheat. See her reaction there.
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