A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im a girl and in a long distance relationship and i was very happy. but lately i havent been. he doesnt call me, we hardly talk, me msgs me bout once a day saying the same things. he is hardly online now and i never really get to see him for real. ive just been feeling really lonely. But when im with him and talking to him i feel so lucky and really loved. i dont wanna leave him because i really do love him and couldnt imagine my life without him....but last week i was on the phone with a guy friend i met recently on facebook he lives even further away. and he was touching himself and he wanted me to as well, so i did i wasnt turned on until i thought of my bf, he wanted me to say things but i couldnt, i was just moaning. now i cant live with myself coz i did it :( what should i do? is that cheating? should i tell him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Yes, it's cheating. Think how you would feel if you found your boyfriend had done the same thing behind your back.As far as telling him, I wouldn't. I would stop doing it, suck it up and deal with your own pain. I know that sounds harsh, but telling your boyfriend would only give him pain in order to salve your own guilt. If you want to continue your relationship, figure out why you did it and address that issue.If you are not happy in your relationship, communicate with your boyfriend. Let him know and see if you can find a solution together. Or break up. I am saying this from the standpoint of one who has been cheated on. When asked if it would have been better not knowing about the affair, I told my husband that I would rather know. I love the man with all my heart, and if he doesn't feel the same or is doing wrong by me, I want to know. BUT, if he had done it once, felt horridly about it, and knew he had made a mistake then addressed the issue, maybe it would have been better for me not to know.Hope I didn't confuse you. Good luck and best wishes. We all make mistakes, what shows the strength of a person is how we deal with them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe met on teen chat years ago just as friends,and live 3 hrs away. ive been trying to keep busy, i was gunna get a job witha bank thats why i didnt go 2 college this term coz that was the plan 2 do a course and maybe move down with him but now...i dont no whats happening with that. i still dont know what to do? should i tell him if i see him this weekend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Cheating on him? That's a good question. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Besides you said all you could think about was him. So the question is does he feel the same way you feel about him. I'm 12 in a long-distance as well. And to tell you the truth I can't even remember the last time I spoke to my boyfriend. I mean he has my number. And why should I have to make the first move when I do it all the time. It's kind of sad because all I ever hear about is him and my supposed to be bestfriend flirting. Anyways, I understand what you're feeling. Pain, and lonelyness. Maybe what you should do is ask him, and yourself as well, where does he think the relationship is going to be it the next second, minute, hour, month, or even year. As much as I believe in honest relationship sometimes you just have to give back what is given. If you don't feel he has been honest don't tell him. Otherwise tell him everything. Besides everyone deserves a second chance. I hope this helps=]
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A
female
reader, Dreamie Tofu  +, writes (6 August 2008):
im a girl and i dont really think thats cheating but if it comes from a boys perspective it can be really painful to hear knowing his girl is talking to another man and having phone sex. Lets just say if you found out your boy did what you did would you let him off. It is better to tell him then to let him find out himself. When it comes out it can be unbearable but if he finds out himself its more painful for him. It is up to you though if you want to tell him or not. Long distances relationship can be rough because you dont know what your boyfriend is doing where your not and he doesnt either..Dont worry much and follow what you want to do.
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female
reader, totallyjoey  +, writes (6 August 2008):
I probably have to say the conversations you had during your phone sex is not cheating(this is my opinion) it is not cheating because...(it might sound weird) but your pleasuring yourself... because you were thinking about your boyfrind during your converstion
DO you want to keep this a secret from your boyfriend? Either way he just might find out some day if your planning on making this relationship long term . Just be sure if your going to tell him...you have to explain....and also you can tell him whenever you feel ready.
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