A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi this is Zahir Yousafzai from Pakistan. I recently broke up with my girlfriend. My gut feeling always had this thought that she was cheating on me. She had a facebook account for almost one year but she disclosed this on me in the first week of June and also shared her gmail and facebook account. Until now, she had only girls as friends on face book but in the first week of August all of sudden she added a male childhood friend of her. AlThough they discussed general stuffs but I could see a little frankness from my girlfriend by calling him dude. Before that, she started going to Gym and wearing modern cloths and also making new girl friends though she was saying that was doing all that for me and most of her friends were family friends. Besides, prior to that, she changed her gmail password twice in a single day and gave me her new password after 5 days. She told me that her childhood friend is 20 years old but somehow I found out that he too is 22 years of age. It was my girlfriend who added him first on facebook rather than him. Question is why the hell she needed him when I was around her? Because of that faceboook thing I had a major fight with her before we broke up. although, we are apart now but my heart has still a special space for her. Tell me is all these signs of cheating? In month of April, she also changed her yahoo ID password that I had for almost six months. She came up with this strange story, for which I could not make head and tail, that her father wanted access to her ID that’s why she had to change it. We met thrice, but most of the time we used to keep contact over the phone and net as she was living in another city which was almost 250 miles away from mine. Every night we used to have a sex over the phone and net but never did in real. Recently, before we broke up, she told me that we should talk over the phone after every alternative day rather than everyday. I get the feeling either she was unfaithful or a psycho case. She had an affair with someone before I stepped into her life and I was ok with that since that would have been her first love and love is always a sacred relationship. Besides, she had a major issue with her mood swings; they were just too much to bear at times. Do you think all these actions of her were signs of cheating or just overplayed with the whole thing? After breakup I did try winning her back but she was just unmoved. Should I try again to win her back after few months or it’s finished for good now? Sometimes, I get the feeling that she just used me to satisfy her sexual fantasy and there was no love but just a blur through which I could not see her real intentions. I would appreciate if you could kindly offer me some quick help. Regards,
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2009):
Hi this is Zahir again. Let me clarify few things i didn't ask her to give me her password ..it was her who came up saying that she had been on facebook since last year. even i used to tell her that u should change ur password as u have every right to keep ur privacy going. im a broadminded person and would have been oky had her facebook was full of guys bt to see that guy being on her facebook without telling me , got me jealous big time and i agree that i did overplayed the entire situation and even made apology as well but she was just to rigid to break down. We learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them after all we all are dam human beings not angels, isn’t it? I had noticed big turned around in her attitude before that facebook thing and she might be looking for opportunity to get rid of me? Even I was ready to leave my parents for her as it was her desire to live separately once we get married. I now I was slightly possessive about her but tell me who is not possessive about their partner? She was changing me for better and even I developed a wacky sense of humor just because she had already one. I used catch all the slings that she was using. She had major influence on my life and could have changed me more if she had given me second chance. Whenver she hada argument with me I didn’t say a word and let her blast me. I appreciate u guys reply and will try get on with my life!
A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (26 September 2009):
 0_0 your calling HER a psycho case? Your are completely obsessed with her! What gives you the right to know her passwords? I'm glad it's over, you were completely controlling her. Even remembering the dates!! Oh and calling a guy dude is nothing. You only call male FRIENDS that....never would a girl call someone she liked more then a friend dude!!Leave her alone. She was NOT cheating on you. Maybe for you this controlling behavior is normal and ok but where I live people will call you the psycho case for being so obsessed with her!Maybe next time learn to trust your girlfriend and give her some privacy!! She'll love and respect you for it!
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A
female
reader, heartbreaken  +, writes (25 September 2009):
well to me i cheated once and i would hide things so that he wouldnt find that i cheated that one night so it seems like she was hiding something but cheating idk but i think she waw useing you 4 sexual need s i think that she may be a lil crazy a lil but u should move on you dont deseve a sneak trust me i know good luckkierra
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (25 September 2009):
Hey there. Sorry, I'm not taking the time to read the entire post...but just to put it in logical form, she's your EX-girlfriend. It's time to quit worrying about whether or not she WAS cheating on you. You are no longer together, so just look toward the future to make your life happy and fulfilling. We have more than enough stresses and worries in our lifes, take one worry/stress out of your life, and don't even think about her anymore. Don't try to win her back--you don't feel like you can trust her and the relationship won't be the same even if you two end up back together.
Like everyone says, there's plenty of fish in the sea. You'll meet someone else that you can trust.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): I don't think she cheated on you, I think you are overreacting and honestly, I am afraid for your ex-girlfriend's safety because you sound a bit unstable. Calling someone "dude" is another way of calling someone a friend, not a boyfriend. Why do you have a problem because she has new girlfriends? Why do you think you have a right to her email passwords? I understand you are in Pakistan and that your culture is very different from mine, but I don't see how these things mean she cheated on you.
You need to leave her alone and move on with your life. The relationship is over.
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