A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I called my long distance friend yesterday for christmas, we talked about what we did and well we are friends but he's married to someone I don't know if knows about me communicating with him. It's that sometimes he makes me feel like he wants to say something but I just play it cool and let it go b/c I don't want drama.At the end of the conversation he thanked me for calling him, but I said he didn't needed to thanked me anything b/c now more than ever I am so thankful to have him as my friend. He said "Oh, what a nice thing to say, thank you". I just stay still and quite, I don't why I felt weird. We kept quite like those awkward silences until I said Take care bye, and he said Talk to you sooner. What the heck happened there?Well, we never had a relationship but a little bit of rapport happened long time ago. It never went beyond that, he says family is OK. Yet, this is 2nd one and his kids are from his previous marriage. I don't know why, should we stop this before it gets any further?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): It's wrong. Trust it from someone at the other side of the situation. He's being naughty and he knows it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): This can be a very difficult situation, but I am going to answer you with a question. Hopefully this might be of assistance.
If he was your husband, would you be comfortable and okay with the friendhip and the conversations?
I want to just add this, protect yourself and safeguard yourself from getting emotionally attached to this guy. This reminded me ot the saying by G.K. Chesterton:
" It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem".
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (27 December 2008):
If it feels wrong then it usually is.
We girls tend to have a sense for what kind of atmosphere there is and you were picking up a "more than friends" vibe.
This might have just been a one off moment so for now I wouldn't do anything differently. But if there continues to be tension next time you see him / speak to him then it might be time to start removing yourself from this friendship a little bit.
As to whether his wife knows about you... that is his problem not yours. There is nothing wrong with married people having friends of the same sex. My husband knows most of my mates but not all of them.
Good Luck!! xx
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