A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last week I was over at my boyfriend's house and he got sick. The next day I messaged him to check up on how he was.I've been sick this past weekend with a cold but we still spent the majority of the weekend together...so he knows I am sick.Today I expected to get a message or a call from him to check up on me but I got nothing.He cares a lot about me but this makes me think that he perhaps doesn't. I'm his first serious relationship and maybe he doesn't know the proper etiquette here? I'm not asking for anything huge but a small text would have been nice.I know that men are not mind readers, but should I expect at least a text?Next time I see him should I say that I expected him to check up on me...or would this be seen as nagging?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): thanks to both of you for your answers
CaringGuy, your answer made total sense. I just had to think of the way my dad behaves and it's exactly the same. As for telling my bf I 'expected' a text, no I won't do that.
thanks again :)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 June 2010):
Have you ever heard a man asking another man how he is when he's ill. Or how he feels? The answer is no. Why? Because men don't do that. It's not that he doesn't know the etiquette. It's that he doesn't know the FEMALE etiquette. When a man is feeling ill, or low, or unhappy, we are more than satisfied to sit in own company and shut out the world, oblivious. When a woman is low, or unhappy or ill, her friends often crowd round her to make sure she's okay. Thus, when a woman is ill, a man will assume she wants silence. That's what's happened here. He did the male thing, which was to leave you alone. Don't go up to him and say you 'expected' a text. That would sound a bit like nagging. Instead, just say that you were a little hurt that he didn't say hello. See what he says.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): No you are not nagging. I have come to the conclusion men don't think like women. I am the same, will do anything possible to make my partner feel wanted, and help in any way I can. So therefeore you think he will do the same back. But, doesn't always work out that way. It doesn't mean your partner doesn't care. It may not just have entered his thought process that is all. I wouldn't worry too much, but at the same time don't look or expect things to happen with him, because it might not always and you just get disappointed. It doesn't mean he doesn't care.
Hope that helps.
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