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female
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anonymous
writes: I just broke up with my first serious boyfriend. He's 18 and I'm 15, and everyone was telling me to break it off with him because it would end in tears etc but we kept on going because we were in love and were enjoying ourselves. His reason for breaking up with me was the age gap. Or at least, this is what he said to me. I doubt this was the real reason because the age gap hadn't bothered him for the 5 weeks that we were together, and he's been out with girls my age before. I asked if that was his real reason and he told me it was, but I still don't believe him. Am I just being stubborn because I want him back and don't like his excuses, or does it seeem that he is hiding something and I'm right to question him? Also, I told him that if he ever changed his mind and wanted me back he knew where I was. Now I'm thinking that was really stupid of me, even though I'd do anything to get him back. Thing is, I feel as though he may change his mind, because it was very sudden of him to break up with me. Just a few days ago he was saying he'd never let anything come between us and I know he realy meant it. There's a lot of stuff getting him down at the moment; he's unemployed and struggling to get himself a job, and at the moment he's in hiding because a load of people have said they're going to hunt him down and kill him (he doesn't know why). He spends a lot of his time drowning his sorrows and making himself more depressed. Do you think his descision is final, or is it worth me waiting a few days to see if he changes his mind? If the answer is move on, anyone have any way they can help me get over him coz this is really killing me. I'm worried what he'd do without a girlfriend to keep him from being stupid, because before we were going out he was really REALLY down, he was cutting himself and taking quite serious drugs. I calmed him down and made him happier, and I'm worried he'll go back to how he was. Please help.
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female
reader, emma_jade +, writes (16 March 2006):
Hun its happened to me all you need to do is pick up your feet and move on try not to see him as a boyfriend any more try to see him as a guy you have never met or even a friend i missed this for too long after we split up but i moved on because i couldnt bare waiting for him. You say that some guys are trying to kill him that could have something to do with the break up he might want to protect you. Maybe he doestnt want anything to happen to you so he stopped it. hope you find your way to happiness emma XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (21 January 2006):
 From what you write, it appears he wanted to break up with you for some other reason, but felt that the "age difference" aspect would be less hurtful to admit.
He might have dated other 15-year-old girls, but not everybody at 15 is at the same emotional level. Consider too, that not everyone is a perfect match with everyone else. Maybe he felt that there was something missing or "not quite right" between you both. Maybe he was actually more interested in seeing someone else. But by naming the age difference as the reason, he may have been trying to save your pride.
Remember, you only dated him for a couple of weeks. This is what dating is about: finding if you and another person are compatible. In this case, it appears you weren't, which is perfectly OK and much more common than the fantasy that you fall into permanent love with someone, just because you dated them a few times.
Time to move on. This very brief relationship didn't happen to work, but that's no one's fault. You just deal.
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reader, kt  +, writes (20 January 2006):
 hi,
i think that you should just be there for him as a friend. he sounds like he has a lot on his mind and he needs you there as a friend. just remind him that it will get better and that you are there for him.
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A
female
reader, Jordan +, writes (20 January 2006):
 Hey look i knoe what you're gowing through cause something similar happened to me but we never got back together and i'm also fifteen but yeah i'm not sur if he's comin back or not because idk what he's thinking but He was oyur first love i guess and it's hard to get over your first love and for now try and go out with other guys get your girls to take you out to get your mind off of him and tell him that you still want to be very good friends and if in the future he's ready for another relationship with you that you're there. but all you can do is be there for him that's all that any one can do i hope i helpedJordan
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