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female
,
anonymous
writes: One night my fiance asked if I wanted to go with him to a bar that him and his friends were going to that night. It was a family night so some of his friends were his friend's younger sisters that he is better friends with and they are like 13 and 15. Anyway, he is 34! Well, later in the afternoon he said he just wanted to go and that he didn't want me going. I felt like he had something to hide. He said he didn't want me going because he knew I thought it was weird that he was hanging out with such young girls. I understand that people need their time alone with their friends, but I was more mad that he uninvited me. I then said I was going to go to different bars by myself (we lived right across the street from them). He said I should stay at home and study real estate because that was what I was going to get my license in. Anyway, was I reasonable to get mad by how he treated me?
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female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (29 November 2007):
Whoa... first of all, how are 13 year old girls hanging out at bars??? He is better friends with his boys little sisters? Sorry, but you are totally right, that's weird. If I was you I would want to understand what these relationships are about for him. Is it a big brother kind of thing? Do they ask him for advice that makes him feel protective of them? Does hanging out with teenagers make him feel young and hip? What does he get out of these relationships that he needs? Obviously he feels a bit defensive about the relationships as exhibited by him not wanting you to go because he felt judged. If I were you I would calmly try to get to the bottom of what this is really about. If you are going to marry this man then you need to understand what's happening for him here.
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (29 November 2007):
Yes he's really behaving strange and needs a questioning session.Even if we know that friendship knows no age boundaries,what would he be doing in a bar with "his" friends? Let me guess,he's scared that he may be flirting with them and you'll get upset or he may do something nasty that will not please you.Tell him to be more sincere and stop treating you like one of those "babes".Get to the bottom of it all and go with him next time he goes to such.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (29 November 2007):
 Hi
You had a right to be mad at him.It is one thing that he uninvited you but it is something else for him to tell you to stay at home! I think you should take a stand and put up some rules. Tell him that you think it would be better if you would go out with him and if you could spend some time together. Also tell him you want to meet his friends. He shouldnt have a problem with that and if he does then he is probably hiding something. What on earth would a 13 or 14 year old have in common with a 34 year old man? Speak to your bf calmly and try and get some answers.
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, peaches83  +, writes (29 November 2007):
 Yes too damn right.
What was he doing in bars with such you ones anyway???
The first thing he did wrong was to invite you then uninvite you.
The second is when you said you was going to go out and go to a bar and he told you that you should saty at home.
Now to me that shows taht he has something to hide. Why were you not allowed to go out to a bar.
Is it maybe that he was going to this bar or to one of them with these people and they are not "just friends"
You need to get his motives of this out in the open.
Peaches
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