A
male
age
51-59,
*arywh
writes:I met a wonderful girl on the internet, and after only sending eachother a couple of e-mails, she gave me her mobile number. We started texting eachother frequently and we got on great, then when we spoke on the phone and things got even better. We would speak every night and text eachother all the time.... you get the picture.Anyway, we decided to meet up. I had suggested I stay at a hotel, but she said it was ok for me to sleep in the spare room. I agreed only if she was sure. When I arrived a friend of her's was there too, apparantley she was having problems with her relationship and was staying there too. No problem. We went out to the pub, her friend came along too..... hmmm, ok, but I was hoping to spend some time on our own to get to know eachother better. No chance of that. My ladyfriend's mother also came out with us plus her friend's son and his girlfriend. I must admit to feeling a bit outnumbered and slightly annoyed that I wasn't getting and unable to give any attention from/to her. When we went back to her house, I met her daughter who had been working when I arrived earlier. Lovely girl. Anyway, her daughter went up to bed, her friend went up to her bed. At last we were alone. We chatted a bit and kissed and cuddled, as you do. She went to bed, I went to the spare room. As expected. No more surprises.Next day, we all had breakfast together, everything great, but I had to go, work next day. We kissed goodbye and I was off home, thinking everything was cool.I got a text from saying that she'd enjoyed the weekend and I replied something similar, she said she liked me a lot and her daughter thought I was nice. I replied I thought they were great.The next day, I text her a few times, didn't get a reply to many texts, but we spoke on the phone. But as the days went on, her replies got less frequent. I asked her what was up and got accused of giving her grief!!!! I was confused, but apologised and left it at that and hope the situation would improve. The next week was similar but I decided that I was only going to text once and wait for that reply, no matter how long it took. We spoke a couple of times on the phone, but didn't mention the text situation just incase she accused me of the grief thing again. Then I phoned her this Thursday just been, she said she was in the middle of doing something and she would phone me back later. Guess what? I didn't get a phone call or a text.Next day she, texts me saying that she's had this dream about me, we were making love and it was great etc, we had a text conversation and she said that she wanted to meet up again soon. Great! I suggested next weekend. She didn't reply. I left it at that..... Later that day I got a text from her saying she'd been spending time with her daughter. Great! I asked her what they'd been doing? Did they have a nice day?....... No reply. Later that night I get a text saying that she just wants to be friends now as she doesn't think I care as I don't call her anymore..... I was speachless..... for a bit..... then I got really annoyed..... I told her of every instance that she'd been ignoring me and how I'd felt really neglected these past couple of weeks but didn't want to say anything cos I was afraid of getting accused of giving her grief..... her reply left me flabbergastted. 'I've got a house to run and a daughter to look after, last thing I need is someone having a go at me. I won't text you again. Goodbye''.Can anyone tell me what I did wrong please as I'm confused?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): she likes the attention - so she flirts with you enough to get attention from u. she's busy with family & friends - so you are a nice break. she wants you to be persistent but not too persistent & never pushy (always be a gentleman) - she's very flaky & changes her mind a lot. all this TRANSLATES into a lot of WORK so ask yourself the q - is the juice worth the squeeze and never do too much that you feel frustrated if you get nothing (in terms of affection, time, intimacy etc). good luck mate.
A
female
reader, Shannon Williams  +, writes (1 May 2009):
 Apart from my previos advice I think you should consider this lady's family situation and to be a bit shelfish yourself and think that maybe you can find a gil who hasn0t got this kind of responsabilities and can devote more time to you and your relationsip. I do not think you are too old for finding a person without children and so on who can go out, go shopping or travelling with you and have fun as well as to appreciate your efforts to be in touch by messages, phone, moving etc
maybe you're to much nice for this lady
xxooo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): She seems to have blown hot and cold a lot and this could drive you crazy if you were together. Try and forget about her and meet someone else who will give you an easier time. You sound nice, but she sounds a bit too complicated, you'd never know where you were.
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A
male
reader, Ignorance  +, writes (28 April 2009):
She was just playing with you, all she wanted was to play mind games with you. Especially the dream that she was having sex with you...ah please give us a break girl! I think for your own sake in the future try to identify this type of characters early and run away as fast as you can! Some girls are real sluts I'm sorry to say
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A
male
reader, Guitarist +, writes (28 April 2009):
 Women with kids are odd mate, they change their minds more times than you'll have hot dinners. (in fact, all girls/women are like that), they can never accept the truth either and always belive they're right.
You didn't do a thing wrong so don't beat yourself up. If she gets in touch again, don't bother with her, even if you two became a couple in the future, whats to stop her doing the same again? Personally I wouldn't be able to trust her. Better to let things go rather than get hurt later on.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 April 2009):
Oh dear. Poor you.
It sounds to me like she was very happy to have you as her text friend and someone to call and talk to and build you up in her mind as this perfect knight in shining armour.
You became her escape from real life her little day dream that would text back and say nice things.
Then she meets you and unfortunately discovers that you are in fact a REAL person, with real wants and needs and habits and clothes.
Once your relationship became real life, it suddenly hit home that this day dream was in fact a day dream and that you were going to want some kind of relationship.
So she ran scared, treated you like crap, and then when you DARED to complain she used that as an excuse to dump you.
You weren't too nice, you were just fine. It's her problem because she obviously can't quite cope with real men. That's why she sticks to internet day dreams.
The internet is full of nutters and people with no social skills.
That's why I find it is ALWAYS better to meet people in real life. Get out and join some clubs or societies or take up a new sport. Go out with your friends and feel sorry for this woman. It's her loss, not yours.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, i wanna love u like mad +, writes (28 April 2009):
 you did nothing wrong and she obviously has some kind of problem. are you sure you didnt say anything to offend her? if not then you've done nothing wrong at all :D
you'll find out later that your better off without her and she's being unfair on making you thrustrated like this. she could have at least told you why she was annoyed so you could fix it.
hope you solve your problem x
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A
female
reader, Shannon Williams +, writes (28 April 2009):
I think she hasn't made up her mind about if she really wants to have a relationship or not
I think u should talk to her about your feelings and try to notice
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 Sweetie, doesnt sound like you did anything wrong, it sounds like she doesnt know what she wants. Personally, I dont think you should waste your energy on her!
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