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male
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*ovestrangelove
writes: I am a male approaching mid 30s and I met this young woman (early 20s) on an asian e-dating site about 5 months ago. We were just chatting and talking on/off until about 2 months ago, and that's when I started having some sexual relation with her.Background on this: I am a working man. I got a sales job and living stable but not rich. She is an international student from Asia. Her family is supporting her education over here in the States. She's approached me online as a friend first. Chatting and flirting etc. At a later time, we would hang out and she started to tell me about one of my live-in "friend" who was hitting on her and speaking bad of me (!). She also said that she really liked me a lot but I din't seem to like her back etc. I admired what she did for me and began to fall in love with her. (Btw, I did kick out that "snake" friend of mine).I really felt young and fun loving when she was around me; however, she seemed to have a lot of questionable and personal issues: She told me that her 2 female friends drugged her and took her money and properties from her car right after she met me and that hurt her a lot... she ran into some legal problems for kicking back at her caretaker (uncle) who slapped her one time... she wanted to go back to Asia (her family there supposed to be well off or something like that) but the court dates caused it to be delayed....she's constanly text messaged and online... she claimed that she feels weak at nite so we gotta communicate via chat most of the time (she's skinny but definetely not anorexic weak)... she's too sensitive and easily offended. etc.To continue, I took her out to places; I had sex with her on three occasions: 1. We went to a nice hotel after a fine date. I made love to her for hours until the sunrise... BUT, she was still looking at her iphone and talked to her mum (?) saying that she would be out and about. Now, her mum is in Asia. And she had gone out to friends place before all nite long. She might have called the uncle but she would have said it, wouldn't she? During the course of our love making/sex session, we did kiss but there was a few occassions that set off my "alarm" when I kiss and she turned her cheek the other way. I asked and she said she just wanted to turn to see how I reacted (wth?!!). But she did comment that I was so strong in bed, all the way to the morning, and she will not forget this exprience. Even though we "made love" for hours, but at times her mind seemed to be preoccupied with something else. She did tell me when we first got to the hotel that she only wanted to stay until 3AM. But we didn't leave until 10AM.A few days passed, we went out. I then had a quickie with her. I like to leave marks and small bites during sex (not hickey on the neck or stuffs like that). I did notice that she didn't want me to leave any marks on her body. So that was odd.We then hung out again, went to the dance club and had a good time dancing until 2AM. I did notice that she showed the bouncer the id with her fingers covering the name (!!?). After the club, we both agreed to go to the hotel... and this time, she wanted to leave like right at 4 AM. I took her back to my office, stopped by Jack In The Box to buy her some breakfast. And she decided to hang out at my office for a little while. Well, while we were just talking at the office, she got mad at me for speaking my mind about a small thing in general. She then took off without eating the burger.We still talked, she was expecting to depart the country after her court date but the judge (according to her) had rescheduled. She and I still managed to meet and kissed like lovers or perhaps it was just making out to her.The last time I met her before her court date rescheduling. She was acting rather suspicious. She went to my office, hung out, and started to do her usual texting and stuffs (which I find sorta disrespectful). She told me that guys tend to call her when it's raining and thunderstorming to see if she's okay. She started to get a phone call from a guy, it was very brief. And then another call came, she said that she would need to step out of the room to answer the call. I told her go ahead and do whatever I wasn't sure if we are actual gf/bf at that time.. but now I realised that I should have reacted differently. I should have told her to respect and tak to her friends whilst she's not with me, especially when it's another guy! Her court date came again, during which she was blockading herself from most people, including me. Claimng that she had to prepare and get ready. Well, it got rescheduled again! And she changed her phone numbers. Only way to communicate was online sometimes. I started to lose hope against all hope with her due to so much things going on. She got a new phone number soon afterward and started calling me to ask if I could take her out to shoot some pictures (she got the prof. cameras and such) like the next day. I wasn't able to do so due to work. But I said, another time would be fine. We would then went on to spend sometime over dinner and I took her back to my office. She got mad at me along the way because she misinterpreted my comments about her "waiting to nail me if I would to say anything wrong so I gotta watch what I said around her"... To me, it was okay for her to joke but not the other way around? I was very confused. One time, while on the internet. She told me that she went out with a married busines man (in his 30s and tall and well built) who wanted to leave his wife for her and he wanted to give her sexy lingerie and stuffs. I asked her why would you go out to an Italian dinner with a married guy? She said she did it for her adopted auntie. She said she only went out with him and he was trying to hug her and infatuated with her but that was it. This still bothers me greatly.And up to this point, I never really knew where she lived. Just the area (subdivision) and that's about it. She said that she had guys making a scene in front of her house before but this is really weird. Seem like she was hiding something, not just "trust".A few days later, I asked her what her thoughts of us being official bf/gf....she went on and stated that she was gradually losing feelings for me. And she just wanted to be friends. If I dont' want to, then it's up to me and I can do whatever. She said that she was being firm. Quote: 1 is 1 and 2 is 2 you know.I really tried to talk and told her I care and love her but she said I said it too late. What the heck?! I been texting her and tell her I loved her and adored her all this time....I am heartbroken. I still text her and left some vm's from time to time but she seems colder and more distant. I sense less and less feelings from her. My brother told me that she is more likely a player and the way her eyes look. She probably just want some fun while it lasts with me. I think I might have been a nice guy or just too soft for all my life. I ignore all the other women while I was seeing this young lady. My mind still has her images and I am trying to get away from this.Help me... give me some pointers please....
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anorexic, flirt, heartbroken, met online, money, player, text, the internet Reply to this Question
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male
reader, lovestrangelove +, writes (15 October 2009):
lovestrangelove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again.
I am trying and but my feelings still lingering.
All the warning signs are there like you all said, but I was hoping for something else.
I expect the good out of the bad, and it's not what it is oughta be.
Yes, Candleman, she might be heading back to Asia to get married to some wealthy man. They do that all the time there, and here to.
A
male
reader, lovestrangelove +, writes (15 October 2009):
lovestrangelove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again.
I am trying and but my feelings still lingering.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2009): How could a guy your age be suckered in by a girl like that? Come on now, weren't you thinking? Chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. Hey, at least you got some nice sex out of the deal.
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A
female
reader, queenbee21  +, writes (15 October 2009):
 Wow. I feel bad for you. Move on. Date girls your own age, and don't have sex with someone until you know it's a relationship!
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A
male
reader, Candleman +, writes (15 October 2009):
 Hey bro,
Yea, you got taken for a ride. You let your heart over ride your reason. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
Hot young Asian girl, early 20's, family has money...all the warning signs that your feelings were stronger than hers, that other guys were probably in the picture, the fact she wants to go back to her homeland, the distance she kept you at, the weird things in her life, etc etc....your emotions blocked these out, hoping for the best...
I've always had an attraction for Asian women. One time I had the hots for this girl whose parents owned a Chinese restuarant. I started showing interest and she showed it back. One day I even helped her de-vein shrimp for the restaurant. This was before her family found out.
One day before things could ever progress too far, her brother comes to me and says that I need to stop seeing this girl. This girl immediately obeys her brother and tells me she can not see me anymore. Come to find out these guys were well connected in China and they had essentially arranged for her to be w/ this other guy whose family was also well connected in China. Last I heard they are married.
It hurt my pride more so than my heart, but I was starting to get feelings for her so those feelings were in the equation too. It sucked.
If you are interested in Asian women you can always do what I did one time. I actually went to nail salons that were owned by Asians and asked if there were any single women. I had to overcome the oddity of doing this, but it worked. I actually had this one salon hook me up w/ this Thai lady who was a customer of theirs. Goes to show when there's a will, there's a way.
Back to you...You just gotta chalk this up to experience. Move on and find someone else. If in the next one the warning signs start going off, try not to let emotion win out over your reason this time. Especially when they are young hotties. Don't let the package blind you of the contents.
Know that the girl for you is out there. You'll find her. You just got to keep searching.
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A
female
reader, Dazed~Confused  +, writes (15 October 2009):
 You were definitely being taken advantage of by this woman.
Anyone who can't tell you where she lives, her full name, who changes their number....she is up to no good.
A lot of what has transpired seems contrived to me. I don't doubt that she has had some trouble with the law.
Move on from this person. Not once in there have you showed that she showed you even a modicum of respect. This is obviously a pattern/game that she engages in with men. Do not allow this woman to make a fool out of you.
There are other women out there who will respect you and appreciate you for everything you have to offer. Set your sights on meeting one of them, and forget this obviously low class grifter.
Best of luck
DC
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