A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Is this right? Am i being pathetic? Me and my boyfriend were having an argument because i was feeling rather down and i just wanted to feel good about myself, but he wouldnt say much nice only your beautiful and he wouldnt say anything more because he was 'too busy watching tv' that annoyed me so i asked him for something more...he then got annoyed saying nothing he does is good enough. It got to the point where he gave in and said i was the best i could tell he was being sarcastic and asked if he really thought i was and he said no im too annoying...this has reallyyy upset me! I told him how it made me feel and he told me i was pathetic annoying and need to grow up! This upset me so much! Am i in the wrong and what should i do? :/ people have said go on a break but i cant i love him too much :/
View related questions:
a break Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 March 2011):
I actually disagree with the post below in some ways. I don't think you're being pathetic, but you are being unreasonable Here's why;
If you are feeling down about yourself, and you want to feel good, it is your responsibility to look for ways of doing that. In turn, it is then your boyfriend's responsibility to support you.
But what you did was expect him to make it better. And he couldn't. Why? Because, and I quote "he says nothing he does is good enough".
That is a very clear sign that he has tried to make things better before, but has also failed and he is now tired of trying to make things better when he knows he can't.
You can't continually expect a boyfriend to be the key to making you feel good. Even when he said something, your conclusion was that he was being sarcastic!
You are as responsible as him for making yourself feel good. It's not up to him to be propping you up emotionally if you can't make an effort yourself.
I am not saying go on a break, and I am not saying you're pathetic. I'm also not saying he's a bad guy, because I don't think he is (unless there are other things you're not telling us about). He's also young and has a lot to learn.
What I am saying is that you need to take more responsibility for your own feelings and happiness. No man can make it all better for you. He can only support you when you are trying to make it better yourself. It's unfair and unreasonable for you to go to him and make it all better. Granted, your boyfriend could have done more, but his reaction suggests that this is something that happens a lot more than you realize, and he is becoming unable to cope.
I think you need to re-evaluate how you feel about yourself, and really talk to your boyfriend about why he feels nothing he does it good enough.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): It is clear that you are loving but he is not, so don't feel bad later, now is the time to have a break permanently otherwise you will only face the pain
...............................
|
