A
male
age
51-59,
*luesea3
writes:hello , do i ever need help .okay i met this girl 6 years ago - she was involved with a guy that was a deadbeat and now is a deadbeat dad of 2 ... anyway we became real close friends and we spent more time together (plutonitcally)? than the 2 of them did and she was always happy with me until she got home then she was miserable around him - eventually it became too much for me and i stepped away - they broke up a year later and i hadnt seen her for 6 years now we meet again , my feelings for her are there and very real ,and it feels like they've always been there , now she is single and has her fair share of jerks .i treated her like i always did and she would call me 5 - 10 times a day ,on coffee, lunch after work at night and we began spending everyday together which i totally digged and over the course of 3 months i began to feel like a boyfriend to her , we hadn't done anything at this point , 75% my choice because i want to really know someone before i sleep with them - it's a big deal going forward .then one night it was perfect - the kids at dads house were alone watching a movie -some touchy feely stuff then i offer her a back massage ,that turns into some kissing and just at the point of penetration she says - i cant do this . i acted like a mature person and we carried on the day - later i found out from her mom that my penis was too small , and she was disguisted that we got into bed because i'm a little overweight ( not obese ) , also in her words i am fat and ugly ( this from her mom ) and her mom wouldn't lie to me , shes actually been encourageing the 2 of us . so what gives , i had been taking her kids to school , lessons etc . and now she acts like there was nothing between us that way and she wants to be friends , yet she still calls ,texts all the time and always wants to be with me , a month later she wants me to spend the night with her out of town with the kids for spring break , and there was no hint that she was trying to get back with me - but rather just wanted me along to comfort her - which would have happened if we were together anyways and she knows that . \anyway im so stuck on her and dont know what to do - ive been avoiding most phone calls and it hurts but i think she just wants me there until she finds someone - which is a problem for her - she has alot of flaws that i can over look and no-one yet has been able to do that for her - girlslike this make me never want to date again - it's so draining on your spirit .
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broke up, kissing, my penis, overweight Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bluesea3 +, writes (24 March 2011):
bluesea3 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow thanks to all of you - i know for certain what i have to do - i'm definately feeing dained alright
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (23 March 2011):
 is it that she just can't recognise a guy who cares about her? Her Mom recognises that you would be a good man for her daughter.
But the poor judgement of this girl is why she appears to prefer guys who are jerks, and not as caring and responsible as you.
It is her loss if she cannot recognise your truth worth and your inner integrity.
She knows full well that you fancy her. But it would appear that she does not feel the same. Better that you discover it now, that she does not truly appreciate you, than in five years time and three children later.
She regards you as useful. But apparently your good nature is what she finds most appealing.
You are not responsible for this girl. And you are hoping for more than a platonic relationship.
Cut your losses and find a genuine girl who will appreciate you and delight in your company.
Instead of trying to appeal to this ungrateful girl put your energy into a physical fitness program for you.
Then when you have dropped 10 percent of your total weight keep an eye out for the nice girl who bring the joy into your life that ill lift your spirits.
You really are worthy of better than the stale crumbs this girl is offering you.
One day she will wake up to the realisation that you are very happy (with an appreciative nice new girl), and that you were the one who she missed out on.
The girl you need to bring joy to your life is out there, get fitter, and then go looking for her
Best wishes,
Abella
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): "but i think she just wants me there until she finds someone"I think you're damn right. She's using you pal, I've seen this stuff before. A good mate of mine was stringed along by a girl for three years in a situation almost identicle to yours. And yep, she was just waiting for someone "beter" to come along, women can be fucked up sometimes....Unless you've got time to waste, get out of that friend zone of hers and get on with your own life and not hers...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2011): Your post pissed me off bro. This woman is flat out not right for you at all. She is used to jerks and not used to great men like you therefore she will be expected to be treated like those jerks treated her... which is totally opposite of you. Im very very sorry to hear this. I too and very conscious about my weight and im sure your self confidence took a hit. Believe me man... this woman aint for you or should be would have not done what she did or said what she did (assuming her mother is a credible source). I think you need to break things off with this b**** and find yourself a real lady. You seem like a good guy. Dont get attracted to the opposite here. It will only drain you like it already has. Best to you pal.
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