A
female
age
41-50,
*rokenlight
writes:I have been dating this guy for about 4 months. I fell in love the first night, based on his personality, how he presented himself, how he made himself be. He was someone I had always wanted, I loved who he was. At the begining he tried to make time for me. We saw each other in between his training or late at night after my workouts. We talked and we texted, but we tried to see each when we could. After three weeks of this, he started training for his fight, he slowly changed and I slowly changed. He became a jerk and I became angry. He never tried anymore, always making excuses of how he as busy. After his fight, he now doesnt see me because he says I get mad for everything. Well, first I find pictures on his wife's facebook of them together, them still married, so I freaked. He had told me they were separated so when I saw his wife's profile, I started really thinking about his excuses of why he couldn't see me at night, or text me anymore at night or call me at night. He had been calling me still but only during the morning or afternoon hours only, why, I do not know, I asked but he would just always say, "I've been caught up." That's what he always said to me. I waited to have a date night with him for 3 1/2 months. To which he kept giving me an excuse. I understand sometimes you cant see someone because you are busy, but for 3 months, its been a no to night dates. Why? I dont know. Well we have been fighting for 2 1/2 weeks straight. He told me friday afternoon, "This is why I avoid you, because you are always tripping, always mad. This is why I dont want to talk to you." Well I admit it hurt, but I wouldnt be mad if he tried, which he doesnt he expects me to see him when he wants and thats during the day. While he is working. Well after have a great talk (because when we are not fighting we have great conversations and actually talk) I went out with my cousin. I texted im asking him if he was doing anything later, he texted me back sayin he was with his cousin. I flipped. I sent him a text message basically saying, I was too pretty and too good for him and saying I was not gonna be with someone who just wants to avoid me. Well, he text me back saying he was at a family gathering, a birthday party, with his son, so sry he was busy and I couldnt see he could just leave and inviting him was last minute. (I had invited him out on Monday to which he said, MAYBE.) I didnt think he forgot, thats what I told him to which he said, You never confirmed anything with me and you just assumed I would have nothing to do, WTF? I was like ok. I let him borrow money, I paid for meds, weightloss stuff, dr. appts, and gave money when he needed it. So I mentioned that in my "Im too good for you txt" so he wrote, "I thought it wasnt about the money." I wrote back: "I thought you werent using me for the money." He txt back: "WTF ever, thanks for the money." So I text: "It wasnt worth it." He said: "O well" So I texted: "Its funny how you turned into your exes, you may not have put me into debt, but you were so worried that I would be the one who would screw up, and it turned out to be you who did everything to me." His reply: "I guess" I felt bad and sent him an "I take responsibility for my actions and I am sorry, but you are also to blame, which you will not ever admit. I will always remember you as the guy who I fell in love with those first 3 amazing weeks and I thank you for that. but I cant wait fo him to be with me, even if it is one day a week. I came to realize that 3 1/2 months of waitingfor him is enough to know its over. (-:" Was I out of line in saying I was too good for him? Was my offical last text ok or too late? He has not replied to it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2010): No your right on the money! He's a lowlife player... and you know it... quit sweating the small stuff move on to someone else and send the wife a message. I would want to know if I were her. AND you are to good for him! who wants to be 2nd best to his wife? (not saying anything about her) but I don't want to be 2nd to any woman. EVER! Move on that mans just looking for booty, you know this! So quit second guessing your gut feeling and go get a real man.... :)
A
female
reader, Inallhonesty... +, writes (3 October 2010):
 I think whether you were mean in saying you were too good for him is the least of your worries honey.
He hasn't responded to your last "official" text because he probably thinks you're bonkers and has run away quick fast. You took whatever this was with him way out of context. He wasn't feeling the same way you were. He talked to you and saw you only when it was convenient to him, he didn't want to spend as much time with you because you got too clingy for him, that's what brought the change in his behavior. PLUS, he was still married and he was obviously trying to gain nothing more than an extramarital affair with no strings attached.
It also looks like he gained a "sugar mama" in the process. What did this man say or do to you that had you so emotionally attached and had you paying his doctor's bills?! He used you. You really glamourized the situation hun and this is officially over and forgotten on his end.
Move on and please don't fall into the same trap ever again. It will only cause you heartbreak, make you turn bitter and then there goes another woman scorned. Next time, please read the signs because they were all there, bright as day. Good luck to you.
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