A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When i was a little kid around 7 or so my brother (around 10) would force me and my younger cousin to engage in sexual activity with him. i knew it was wrong but i was young and didnt know what to do. so i would tell him no and after a while he would quit messing with me, but then he would leave my cousin alone. she would tell him no but he wouldnt stop. he never took it as far as sex but as far as touching us inapproitely and trying to get us to touch him. his friend that was also around his age would try to finger me while im asleep. i woke up one night will he was doing it. i got scared and i stayed away from him but i never told my mom because i felt like it was my fualt. i didnt know what to do. now im 18 years old and i dont full trust guys anymore because of it. well my boyfriend of two years knew about my childhood and when i felt comfortable enough around him we engaged in sexual activtiy. just recently will i would fall asleep he would start to finger me. it brought back memories of my childhood. i ended it with him right away. my question is was i sexually molested or raped when i was a child by my brother and his friend? was i also sexually molested or raped by my boyfriend or did i just blow it out of content? i dont know what to do can you help me?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): u were molested by your brother and his friend
and it should be perfetcly normal what your boyfriend did, you have a very serious trauma, if u cant accept your man touching you at night u should get treatment!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): 1. You were molested as a child. Had the police gotten involved the boy would likely not have been incarcerated due to age. They likely would not put him into juvenile detention.
2. If your bf did what he did without your consent he committed a crime. The specific name of the crime depends on your jurisdiction (state). You could not consent since you were asleep. This happens more often when a girl is so drunk that she cannot say "No" but also the courts recognizes therefore that she is also not capable of saying "Yes."
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A
female
reader, we-are-nowhere  +, writes (26 May 2009):
 As for r childhood yes that is assault, as for yor bf he is a jerk for doing that when he knows yor past but maybe he thought u were over it but that isnt assault it would have been if said stop and he didnt though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): There is no doubt that you were sexually abused when you were a child. What your brother did to you was wrong but being so young may have clouded the intentions. You need to talk to someone about it.
Have you ever talked to your brother about it? If not then I suggest you should to help yourself && your future relationships. If not your brother, then a professional.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (26 May 2009):
 Yes, you were molested. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It wasn't your fault. You were young and they took advantage of you.I think it would be a good idea to see a therapist. A good one can help you heal from the abuse.Good luck with everything. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (26 May 2009):
What you suffered as a child was indeed abuse. it is up to you whether you tell anyone about this but you may find it really helps you to get help.
Check out local helplines or survivors groups.
Your boyfriend was just coming on to you... waking you up in a nice way. To any other girl it would have been either a nice way to wake up or a "get off I'm asleep!!" moment.
However it was INCREDIBLY stupid and insensitive to do that to you when he knew your past.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, CGL0527  +, writes (26 May 2009):
 yes, yes you were. if you were inappropriately touched without your consent or by force, you were. tell your parents about your childhood, get some help. It was never your fault, you were yound and scared...
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