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I dont remember too much about having sex, even though I was drunk did he take advantage of me ??

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Question - (3 March 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

One night I went out with my guy friend to hang with him and his stepsister. We ended up drinking a lot. I was drunk after 3 drinks and in a strange state due to the allergy medication I had taken earlier in the day, and he was drunk due to the fact that he had been drinking for a long period of time.

My friend and I ended up at his house and he told me to stay and watch tv until I was sober enough to drive home. Around that time, my head started feeling strange. Next thing I know, he had taken off my clothes and had put his hand down my underwear. I don't remember seeing him take off his clothes, but I told him we shouldn't be doing this. I thought he came to his senses when he got up, but instead of putting his clothes back on, he got out a condom. I should have gotten up right then and there, but I was too drunk to really do anything. We ended up having sex that night.

The next day, I woke up with a headache and thought it was a dream. I don't remember the drive home from his house. I found out it was reality when I was shifting through my laundry and found blood on my underwear. I wasn't on my period at the time. My friend said he blacked out during the event and doesn't remember much of the act. He said he realized it was reality when his bedsheets were covered in blood.

The thing is I'm not sure if he's being honest about being that drunk because he was able to put on a condom with no problems. Also, it's starting to affect me because I have flashbacks to that night, I'm screwing up at work, I'm angry almost all the time, and I feel like I lost my virginity again. I need everybody's honest opinion on this. Is it possible for a guy to blackout and behave like he's completely sober, or did he take advantage of me?

View related questions: at work, condom, drunk, lost my virginity, period, underwear

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A female reader, chachacha United Kingdom +, writes (3 March 2007):

I was writing my replying assuming you were a teenager, and now I looked again and saw you were in your late twenties and have rewritten this reply.

You're old enough to know that alcohol can put you in a position of danger, where you don't know what's going on, and you can't protect yourself. If you were this drunk on three drinks, I highly recommend that you take this awful experience and make sure you do not drink again.

It sounds awful, but you're really not the first girl to have drunk too much and found herself having sex with a guy also too drunk to realise how inappropriate it is to take advantage of her in that state. However, you can certainly make sure it doesn't happen ever again, which is the most important thing you have to do.

With respect to this incident, obviously, you should make sure you're not pregnant and also that you didn't pick up any diseases from this guy.

However, what is most concerning is that uou are finding yourself angry almost all the time, so perhaps you should see a counsellor as soon as possible about this. You need to stop screwing up at work IMMEDIATELY - you're whole life does not need to fall apart because of this, but it will if you let it - because you did something which allowed a stupid thing to happen doesn't mean that you need to punish yourself by losing your job.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007):

you know he very could have

i cant tell you weather or not he was blacked out but by the sounds of it I think he knew what he was doing and yeah I think he took advanget of you

be careful

you should really go see a doctor about that to with the blood and all you know?

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