A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello to all the great people at dearcupid. I have asked a question on here before, dec 06 "This is the last chance I''ll ever have at love with someone I adore immensly!" question. PLEASE may you Read this for backround. All the business with the person involved has blown over, i met someone else and was shat on, hooray. I have another problem, there is a girl at college that i used to admire from a distance but didnt realize shes at my college. she is very attractive and she always used to look at me when i was at my first year of college but I thought nothing of it. I have NEVER spoken to her cos im a bit of a loner at college and shes never on my site, so i dont know where she goes, and id be terrified anyway cos it would be a commonroom. I get these vibes off her, like everytime i see her, we keep eye contact each time longer than 10 seconds, this is every time im walkin to and from college for 1year and half and im not one of those people who, if looked at by a girl, think they like me. but there is this wierd nice vibe. i dont so much as lift my head at girls cos i think they hate me straight away, it takes alot for me to realize they like me, as i never want to get the wrong message but this is different. she walks home everyday the sameway i do, so thats the time i see her. Is it possible to approach her, if shes waiting somewhere or something, so it doesnt look like im stalking her? bear in mind im not a mad strange nutter who follows girls. this would be a massive one off, as im not bothered about making a fool of myself anymore as i have 3 months left in this college where i have messed up alot and it has nothing left for me and cos im socialy anxious and very shy, and force myself to speak to people, come across as confident when im not. If it is possible to approach someone in such a way, how would i go about doing it? I cant think of anything that would let her know that i want to get to know her and think shes very attractive without being honest and direct, therefore coming across as creepy and mad. and the eye contact makes me want to approach her. thankyou very very much for any advice in advance, you are very talented and helpful. cheers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007): It's been a year..and the eye contact is heavy. If you don't want to look like a stalker (which you aren't)-just go up and talk to her. You don't have to fawn all over her..just be calm, relaxed and comfortable. Take your time and get to know her-slowly. She may be shy and is waiting for a move from you. You won't know until you try.
You have the same dilemma as billions of other humans have, hun! How to approach a person you like. Life and love is rife with risk-that is just the way it is. We learn that as we stumble along in life, dear. So you muster up some courage, get your sensibilities and wits about you and just do it. And before you do, ask yourself..what is the worst thing that could happen here. That she may 'reject you? Yes, but that is the risk. If you fear the rejection, you'll never date anyone. And if she does 'reject' you in any way..how do you react and respond. You don't mope and take it as the worst thing that could happen. It happens to all of us. Just understand there are a ton of other opportunities out there and you will likely be turned down many more times before finding the right girl for you. One last thing, it's so crucial to get your confidence levels up with positive thoughts and a good, happy worldview of yourself. This will make a world of difference when approaching potential gf's in your future.
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