A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know why, but I feel so ugly compared to everyone else around me. I don't want to feel like this because it just makes me feel so depressed and my confidence feels so low. I'm not trying to seek attention, I just want to know how I can stop myself feeling this way. I sort of got bullied when I was younger, do you think that has something to do with it?
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female
reader, tulisafan +, writes (1 September 2011):
just be yourself and forget about waht other people think becasue just keep on sayin im beautiful!!
and anywayz....real beauty comes from inside not outside i knoe u wanna look pretty for boys and stuff buh u knoe if they dont choose you then theyre not worth it!!
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): I feel so much low self esteem , I had a guest visiting from Europe and I was having a horrible time looked in the mirrors (the warpy kind) and said to my father and her "I am so ugly", Then guess what-complete silence.; I felt like crying because she was physically bullying and stealing candy from See's of all things including my portions read my travel log even snooped through my food journal (I'm not fat just healthy 120) but I still felt ugly and hopelss-nothing much you can do about it but try to ignore actual bullies and thiefs until they physically go away, hope you can learn from my experience!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): No need to worry, i feel the same! I just try to think positively and move on in life! be the person YOU want to be!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2007):
Hiya!
I know exactly how you feel, I used to be very attractive since I was young, until I turned 31,my face had started to change, yes its called losing ones looks. :-( Sometimes I wished that I had met someone special in my twenties, as I used to look youthful and glowing, but now, i can't believe that its all gone. My eyebrows have thinned out, I have eye bags, i guess this is just life, but I knwo they say that beauty comes from within, but we all know that it works both ways, and its easy for attractive people to say that, beauty comes from the outside, but your realness your "truth" comes from the inside, I guess one has to look at their best feature(s) on the their face, and make that stand out.
Try highlighting your hair, if you have a warm complexion and if you have clear glowing skin and a good set of teeth, then you can be pretty! Keep smiling
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2007): All the above is very good but what if u truly r ugly.Take myself for example i have bad teeth wierd hair funny eyes strange shaped face ect.What we people need is 'HELP' to become and feel able to be and feel beautiful because there is no way of doin it on your own. people like me who dont go out wont get the confidence they need from people out side the confort zone e.g family and friends.if family and friends dont become aware of the situation uglyness can lead down a very dark path.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007): I'll keep this short. When I was your age I felt ugly too because I wore thick glasses (this was before comfortable soft contact lenses were invented, can you imagine?) and I was smaller than all the girls in my class, but I was also almost a full year younger than they were too, that plus being a late bloomer made me feel awkward.
Here is the thing. From my side of the fence, any girl your age is quite beautiful, your skin is perfectly soft without wrinkles, your hair and eyes are shiny and bright, your teeth are white, your smile is beautiful and does not make your face dissappear like it sometimes does when your old....try to remember the positive things you have in your life and be very grateful that you are healthy, have two good arms and legs and they can take you anywhere you want to go. If you look in the mirror every day and pick yourself apart, you are going to feel down. Get a new haircut at a pricey salon, go to a department store and have the makeup artists there show you how to apply some eye makeup and blush (you won't need anything else) buy a new outfit, and walk into school with your new look and your new attitude and your head held high. If you walk around like a sourpuss all day and think how everyone else must look down on you, then that is the kind of energy you will attract, people will think you want to be left alone, and you will mistakenly believe it is because they think you are ugly!
You are not, you are very cute I am sure of it....so behave your way out of this, when those negative thoughts come into your head, push them out and tell yourself, not today, I am not going to tell myself these things because they are not true....beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway, every one is good looking in their own unique way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007): Hun, you are a sensitive soul, aren't you? You are in some difficult years. Still trying to find who you are..still maturing and developing into a creative, lovely person. It takes time and teen years are awkward for many of us. Be patient..many women will tell you they never blossomed fully, until they were out of their teens. When I hear of someone so young and vibrant, with so much to look forward to in life, describe herself as ugly--I do really cringe and my heart goes out to you. The bullies in your past life could've done some damage to your feelings of worth. But, you need to really rationalize here and ask yourself..do I allow these jerks to continually erode your sense of self-love and do you keep on allowing what they said/did to keep tearing you down, long after they have stopped? Dear, everyone knows that bullies are cruel, insensitive people whose painful remarks were all lies. In fact, they were broken, angry people who don't feel good about themselves so they need to feel powerful by being nasty to others. Pitiful, isn't it?
Now about calling yourself ugly! Why? Look around...you will see many, many plain folk who are content, wonderful, happy and they don't compare themselves to others. Sweety, being pretty, being beautiful has very little to do with the actual shape of your face, nose, lips or eyes. Instead it all to do with the compassion, warmth, grace and vibrancy from inside you. It's what you are..not how you look. The best way to bring that inner spirit out of you is to ...smile. Smile nicely, warmly and sincerely at others and be genuine. Take an enthusiastic interest in other people's interests and their lives. This is the first step to building good friendships. Talk to some friends or some trusted females in your family (sister, cousin, Aunts, Mom) and find out how you can work with the good features you do have already. Everyone has them. Highlight them all. Learn new fashion, makeup trends..ask someone you respect and trust for advice. But remember, beauty is truly skin deep and it your beauty will shine when you start believing in yourself. Keep me posted on how you do, dear. Good luck and be positive, be happy and allow the best of you to come through.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007): Yeah, the bullying that you got when you were younger has affected your confidence and has made you feel ugly. I know that it's hard but you have to forget the comments that people have made about you being ugly and think of the parts of yourself that you think aren't ugly. Also get your family and friends to cheer you up by telling you you aren't ugly. And also don't forget that bullies pick on anything (even if it isn't true). You're probably pretty really.
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (3 March 2007):
You poor thing..........
You feel ugly BECAUSE you're depressed and your confidence is low - not the other way round.
What you need to do is to build your confidence and feel happier in your life.
Exercise is a great thing to do - you get wonderful endorphins which really make you feel good.
Try some enjoyable hobbies where you really get into whatever it is you are doing, and you'll soon stop worrying about things.
Then, you'll build some confidence and you'll look in the mirror and think: "hey I'm not so bad!" . Trust me, you will.............
A smile brightens any face.
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