A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So, I'm sure you've gotten this many time before, but I'm going to ask again for my sake.I started seeing a girl recently. We weren't anything official, but we spent a lot of time together and we shared a lot in that time. She had just gotten out of a long committed relationship and really wasn't looking for another one at the time. She just waned someone that she could trust and confide in. I started spending the night with her (just sleeping with my arm around her) and she told me taht if I ever wanted to spend the night with my arm around someone, then she would be there. As you can imagine, in just a short time I began to develop some feelings for her. And I believe that she did too. She actually told me once that the reason she didn't want to take things to the next level was because she didn't want to mess it up and ruin our friendship and hurt me. But these feelings wouldn't stop coming. Then, one night, we actually did have sex (and it was great). We had both agreed that it was just a casual thing between friends, and that's all it was, for me anyway. I spent the next night with her, and we didn't do anything, just slept. We had already planned on hanging out again the night after, but she texted me that night and said that she had gotten into a fight with her mom and just wanted to be alone for a while. I agreed. The next day, she told me that she needed some time to sort things out, and that she would talk to me in a few days. Come to find out she has been spending a lot of time with another guy since then. They've been spending almost every night together. And she still hasn't talked to me. I know that all girls do this after they get out of a relationship. They want to try new things because they never had that luxery before. But I'm getting kind of worried now that I've lost her completely. I told myself that I will wait, because she really is worth waiting for. During these few days that she hasn't talked to me, I had a lot of time to think, and I realize that my feelings are very strong for her. I've had girlfriends in the past that I've cared for, but this one is totally different. Eerything about when I'm with her feels so comfortable and right. I miss her in every way, and just want to talk to her, but she knows now how I feel. But when we were together before, I could see the look in her eyes, and I knew that were definitely feelings for me. Not to mention a bunch of other little things that I won't list here. Love is a strong word to throw around, so I won't say that I love her, but I can see myself loving her in the future, if she will give me the chance.What do I do? Should I just give her her space for now and let her do what she needs to and wait for her to come around?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): WRITER: something I forgot to mention was that I did tell her how I felt. She wouldn't talk to me so I ended up sending a MySpace message (pretty lame, I know). I had a second opinion on it before sending it out and it was good. It wasn't overbearing and it doesn't force her to make a decsion right now. It lets her know that I am here and willing to wait, and that I respect her spaceand boundaries. IT probably freaked her out a little bit, but in a good way, because I actually took the time to write it up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): I can see why she is doing this. It takes a long time to trust someone else and the hurt from a previous long term relationship takes some healing. Just be patient. And as you said, she is probably trying other things that just werent available or free to do when she was with someone else. If the look she had in her eyes was deep and meant for you then she will come to you in time. But dont rush her or you could sent her fleeing in the opposite direction , never to return.
Take care and i wish you well.
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): Hi Hunny
No pressure!!!!! give it time and then after awhile get together and talk. She maybe scared at this moment of getting close to someone after her breakup and she may very well have got close to you and then run a mile because she was scared to death....I used to do this ok I'll admit it, I wasnt being horrible I just got scared of being in that place again so soon if you get me, And because some of the places Ive been in havent been that nice you do question yourself sometimes love, And just want something with no strings attached for awhile to get your head together...So give it a little time then contact her ok hunny YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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