A
male
age
51-59,
*lberta Guy
writes:I met my ex about 3 years ago, we were introduced by a mutual friend. The 3 of us would meet and play pool and have a few drinks a couple times a week when I was back in town from work. This went on until the start of this last summer. Now during that time she had been in a longer relationship with another guy. She was unhappy with it, all her friends knew this. It happened one day will we were talking that she got all upset and started crying. I'm not going to lie here I had liked her as more than a friend for some time. I told her to listen to everyone else and get out of it, I then told how I felt about her.Well needless to say that started something, within a few weeks she had dumped him and her and I were dating. It seemed a good break as far as that goes, her ex had said he wasnt surprised and wondered why it had taken her so long to call it quits. Things became very good for us, I fell head over heals in love with her and she said she felt the same way. Anyways time passed, the first fight we had, started the down fall. I had gotten mad becuase of something she had done and for her that brought up all sorts of reasons why I was stupid or my reasons for being mad where stupid. Anyways I thought maybe we worked that out and things seemed to be on the mend.I had to leave for a few weeks due to work, and the day I was coming home we got into another fight for the exact same reason as the first. After this point things went bad, she would not talk to me face to face, she basically broke up why me on the phone. This was about a month ago now. I did the stupid broken hearted guy thing and tried and tried to get her to talk to me. The few times that I was able to get her to talk she blamed it all on me and refused to give me another chance. She even said I was not the type of guy she would have usually gone out with. This hurt more than any thing else in my life. This being sunday it was last thursday that I had seen her for the first time since I went to work 1 1/2 months ago. Our original mutual friend and I were in the bar that night playing a few games of pool and having a few drinks. Then in she comes with another friend of hers and sits down a little ways away. I sent the waitress over with a drink for each of them. It started to bug me so I decided to leave, as I paid my tab I said hello to them both then left. I called her later that night and tried once again to get her to talk. She said her mind was made up and that was that. It upset me all over again and spent the night reading stuff on the net about breakups trying to get some insight. Thats where I came across the " Rebound Relationship " definition. To me this seemed to fit perfectly, it gave me the answers I needed. I emailed this stuff to her and asked her what she thought, never got an answer. But as I was feeling alittle better by friday night, when our mutual friend called and asked me to come out for a drink or two again I said okay. We sat and just talked abit about different things for awhile. We were in the pool room area of the bar, pretty small place. Now when we had got there we each drive pickups and we both parked in the same area. The bar was dead so anyone that came in, who knew our trucks would know we were both there.So here I am looking out the window of the bar and here comes my ex-girl friend. She parks and as she came in a certain way she saw our trucks. She gets out, then the passenger door opens and out comes a new guy I had never seen before. I just about went nuts, but I told my friend I had to go. So as I'm paying my bill in they come, they go sit by my friend and as I walk out her and the new guy are staring at me. I got home sat down and just broke down. I could not believe that she would bring her new boyfriend into the bar when she knew I was there and then to top it all off she phones me a midnight. I didnt answer the phone but instead sent her a text back says how disgusting I thought she had been to me that night.I'd just like to know if you people have any insight into this. What can I do to get her out of my head. This has destroyed me.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Wake up! She told you that it is over. You were not paying attention to what she said; you kept hoping against all odds that things will get better. You were phoning and sending messages, my oh my. She did not want to hear from you that is why she was ignoring you, but you seemed to have been obsessed with your own thoughts. I think coming to the bar with the other guy was just a way that she was trying to proof to you that she is over you. That she has moved on.
Please stop wasting time on this. Let her be! Get out there with your friends and enjoy yourself. The longer you think about her and make yourself miserable the longer before you will meet somebody else.
You have wasted enough time on this girl and on trying to get back together. It is time to let go and MOVE ON.
Start doing things with your friends and whenever you see her greet her but nothing else. Don't be like a "lovesick" puppy. Stop all the calls and text messages. STOP all contact.
Focus on your FUTURE and think about the mistakes you have made and how things went wrong in your relationship and learn from them.
Lift your chin up and go and find a smart girl that will love and respect you. Somebody that will value you.
We all make mistakes but the secrect is to learn from them.
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
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