A
female
age
36-40,
*elli.25
writes:A year ago I worked in a restaurant I absolutely adored. I thought I had some really great friends, especially one girl I got really close to. We were best friends I thought, I even let her stay at my place for a couple weeks when she didst have a home and taking vacations together. About a year ago I started dating the head chef, and we fell in love and moved in together really quickly. Things were a fairy tale at first, and we talked about marriage and the rest of our lives together. Around Feb I found out he was doing cocaine again and had lied to me about several things, including his divorce with his ex not being finalized. We started fighting constantly, and I reacted poorly. I was over emotional and cried a lot because it hurt. I even tried the drugs with him to try and make him come back to me. Eventually the fighting got out of control and I moved out. Sometimes I regret it because I miss him. I quit the restaurant and got a new job. My so called best friend there seemed to be supportive and we were supposed to meet up one day and talk. That day she never called. I've written her two messages since then apologizing for being caught up in my relationship, but no response. My ex boyfriend got fired for the drugs and stealing for the company, and has since moved home states away to live at home. Today I got a message from him telling me this was all my fault, I brought this all on myself. It's because of the lies all my friends "bounced" on me. What did I do? I confided in these people believing they were my friends, and now they don't even talk to me. I know my ex hurt me so deep, and I'm trying to get past that. But was I a bad person to deserve this? He always said horrible things about all if them, but now they're friends with him and ignore me. Why? It hurts.
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best friend, divorce, drugs, fell in love, his ex, moved in, moved out, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2011): You'll probably never know what kind of conversations he had with your ex-friends. Likely, he spoke to them first and filled their ears with all sorts of non-sense - like the crap he's saying now how it was all your fault. And if you try explaining yourself and clearing the air, it just makes it seem like you're really trying to cover up what he said.
It sucks, but try not to take it too seriously. If they were real friends, they would have stuck with you - through thick and thin. But they were 'colleague-type' friends: ones you make at work, look just like true friends, but in the end, are just associates.
Your best bet? Move on and forget about them. In time, you should be able to find good people to hang with.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 October 2011):
 "Water seeks its own level " or something like that. If your ex friends are all so crazy about a cocaine addict out of job thief and liar , well, that says a lot about them, and you should really not regret having lost their friendship, but from now on make better choices both in love and friendship.
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