A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hope you can help me and my boyfriend were together for two years I met him in a club and he chased me he had a girlfriend at the time but told me he hadn't loved her for ages but she had a four year old daughter so was hard to split up I told him I wasn't interested because of this well I bumped into him months later and I'd found out from actual friend he'd finished with her because he knew how much he liked me too much , so we started dating and the first year was great we were going to move in but when we talked about credit reports he told me his ex had left him on loads of debt , he told his mom who was really disappointed then it spiralled from there he got really depressed had panic attacks and pushed me away choosing to see his friends that upset me do I started resenting him for it plus I lost my job and was relying on him for support which I realise now he wasn't strong enough , well it was my works Xmas do and instead of seeing me he went out with his mates so I finished with him again , u know I made a mistake but he said that's it now hes never finished with me but be ause I've been insecure and all him lately I've pushed him away he said he doesn't love me but two weeks before he told my sister he wanted to be with me , anyway that was 3 months ago and to be honest I haven't really left him alone because he won't speak to me or meet me in person he said if he was to meet me it would mess his head up , he misses me but doesn't love me and now I've found out he's seeing his ex every other weekend who lives 200 miles away , I don't think he loves her I think I was too hard finishing because he wasn't all me every time I expected him to see me and she's never stopped trying to get him back and he used to tell me she used to be all o et him and he liked me as I didn't let him take the mick , do you think he's depressed and he resents me and sees our relationship as too much when it's easy to go back to her as shed do what he wants , sorry its long x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): He sounds really unstable emotionally and weak and therefore yes he will go back to her. This doesn't mean he loves her just that he is unstable and constantly chasing after whatever is easiest and most comforting in the moment. However you need to get stronger too. It was wrong to rely on him financially when you lost your job as he is not your husband or family member that would be like treating him the way his ex did and putting him more into debt.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2013): "do you think he's depressed and resents me and sees our relationship as too much when it's easy to go back to her as she'd do what he wants?"Yes. Like you said, this guy is not strong enough, he's weak. Just as his ability to support you when you lost your job, was weak, so is his ability to love you. He's weak. That's why when things got complicated he took off, started blowing you off and eventually stopped "loving" you and ended up with his ex. He's not a solid, strong guy. He cowers when things get too tough. He's a pussy. Let his ex take on the challenge of supporting TWO babies and thank your lucky stars you got rid of him. She sounds like an idiot. And he's pathetic. Now you are free. Go find a guy who is STRONG, can handle the heat, who's love for you doesn't flip flop based on the weather.
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