A
male
age
36-40,
*kinsfan7986
writes:I'm so confused on what my gf is taking about. She said she's to attached to me to soon and feels she needs to take a step back. . We've been dating 3 months. The other day she's talking about me meeting all her family and her son and now this. I don't know what to do or what to say to her. I'm just so confused on what she's trying to say or why she's saying it Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): She sounds confused herself. Maybe ask her calmly what she needs from you. If she still sounds confused, take a step back and take things slow.
Whats better? taking things slow to eventually have a successful relationship or taking things fast because of all the confusion and ending it (happened to me, not fun!)? Do what you think is best (usually slow is best, the turtle wins the race!)
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 April 2013):
 Ahhh...female aunt reporting in here.
This is a classic, and when I mean classic, I mean *classic* case of her getting advice from friends or family.
CMMP is on the money here. Tell her that you are very happy to follow her lead here, and that you know that her duties as a mom come first, and that's one of the things you love about her (even if that's not true, that is the sort of of things that melt women's hearts)
Now...as far as you are concerned, three months is pretty soon to meet her family, particularly her kids. She's trying to protect them from boomerang dads...your relationship is very new. Many people at the 3 month mark are beginning to make decisions about exclusivity and even some are just then becoming sexually active.
She cares for you, but this is both advice and motherly protective instinct kicking in. Show her that you're willing to follow her lead, and it's all smooth sailing for you. Don't become insecure or impatient. Celebrate that she is at this level of caring. Your relationship will endure, but it's a marathon, not a sprint.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (5 April 2013):
 To me, it sounds like she is realizing this is suddenly serious stuff and it scares her. She is probably scared of making a good impression on your parents and what her parents will think of you. You may be her first real man since her ex. Also, if she has a child, that means her child will on some level bond and associate with you. This is a HUGE step for a single parent.
I think you need to give her a little bit of space, but also gently reassure her that you are excited about the future and that you aren't going anywhere. She is looking for you to be the supportive one now and this is your chance to let her know how much she means to YOU.
Hopefully this is just a passing phase and once you get over the hurdle of meeting her family and her child things will get back to normal.
Eddie
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 April 2013):
It could mean a few things. Maybe she's not sure you're right for each other. Maybe she just wants time to get to know you better before moving forward. Maybe she's made the mistake of moving too fast in the past as is trying not to make the same mistake again.
Whatever the reason is, the best thing for you is to CONFIDENTLY initiate taking things slow. Don't go telling her that you though she liked you and why is she doing this to you, etc. Just move things slow like it was your idea in the first place.
I don't feel like explaining why this is a good idea, hopefully you understand and follow my advice.
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