A
female
age
41-50,
*ammi
writes:I have been dating this man now for about 2 months. We are both divorced. I have an 8 year old son and he has two teenage sons. We always get along great. He tells me he cares about me and he acts as if he does.He told me a while back that he would like to get married again and have one more child. His ex-wife had his two sons before their marriage. He had told me that he would want to be married before having a child again. We recently had sex and did not use protection the entire time. We had a discussion later about it and he let me know that he wants another child but not right now. I asked him if I were to get pregnant what would he want. He said that he would support me whatever I were to decide. I wanted him to tell me that he would not want me to have an abortion.He is 41 and I am 35. We are both professionals but our jobs are in jeopardy due to budget cuts. One of his sons is about to go to college. I am trying to figure out does his comment reflect fear and not personal against me or does it mean he does not want a future with me?
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female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (2 March 2009):
 It's kind of a way for guys to pass the buck, but it's not always a heartless move.
I think he is just at a point where if it happens, it happens, and he would love you and that child regardless of any time line. Him saying he would "support any decision you make" is his way of saying that he is with you for the long haul if you get pregnant. I think he just wants to be happy with you.
If you are having doubts though about your financial future, then maybe hold off for a while. Get on birth control, and just enjoy this new relationship.
A
female
reader, Plutonious +, writes (2 March 2009):
This one is hard to say since the both of you only has been dating for two months. And if this is just the beginning of something big, you and him should take it slow. two months, dating, and talking about all the wonderful stuff to come with you and him, a family again.... is what it seems to be the HONEYMOON HIGH. The first couple of months or so, in dating someone is all about lovely dovey stuff, and how you guys can't be apart from one another, etc... it's a high he can't come off from right now. - Hey, if you think you are not ready for another kid yet and marriage then take it slow, but if you are then do what's best. It's hard to say with him if he really wants a kid with you because he loves you, or if he wants a kid because it benefits himself by not to have to deal with being single. Some people out there can't be single and alone, they always needs someone to cuddle up with, have a partner forever. I think you should wait, but again it's all up to you... take it slow or go for it.
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