A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So me and my bf or Ex, have not been speaking some time ago due to a misunderstanding (I believe it was kind of my fault, I did not handle the situation well) also after him finishing his studies he was leaving back to his hometown which is in another country and well this created, at least on ME, some type of ''stay back and disconnect emotionally'' type of scenario.The day of the getting together misunderstanding, was on a special event he had, we were supposed to see eachother that day at a certain time, but then I texted him and changed plans to see him later after the event, I thought it would be better!. then he dissapeared and never heard from him again, I believe this made him mad, but it's weird since we were almost 3 YEARS together and just because of a misunderstanding or whatever he felt, it ended up like this. TBH Very very weird!A thing that I never liked was the fact that he lived an hour away from me in the city and I live in a town nearby, he only came to my town to assist his college. I had gone to his city apartment a couple of times (this is his offcial home) but I always had the doubt of what went on in there. Like I said I had gone there a couple of times, so it was not enough to even have proof if he had someone else.Our relationship was kind of weird, due to his career studies we would not see eachother very much, and he left back to his city apartment on weekends and then came back here from monday to friday, and so on.Before the misunderstanding happened, he had told me that after his grad he was going to be here in this country one month to do some paperwork and then he was leaving as soon as he finished.The sketchy thing is that I recently found out that he is still here and living in the same apartment, I know a person that lives in the same building and I asked her if there was any empty apartment with one bedroom and she said it's still rented, she also told me it's a guy that studies medicine, that he has been renting there for some long time (which is him my ex ofcourse).So my questions is, did he ''maybe'' had a double life with me, and has another women in the city? this sounds very sketchy to me, specially due to the fact that he does not even have family members here, he just came here to study and like any foreigner would do after graduation they would just leave back to there country! but he is still here. I just want some honest thoughts and opinions!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 June 2017):
 Gosh it sounds to me like he has stung you along for six whole years. Am not sure why you would put up with that from him. You need to get this man out off your head, none off us here know what he was up to or who with, but the best thing you can do for yourself is forget him. The more you question it the more you hurt yourself. Don't have your friend check up on him, just let him live your life and vice versa.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (4 June 2017):
 I don't think he was all that invested in you to begin with.
He didn't put much effort into seeing you in the three years you were dating and he dropped little warnings that he would be leaving when he'd completed his studies. Clearly you were not in his long term plans.
I think it was YOU who misunderstood, not him.
It's doubtful, in my opinion, that he was living a double life. He just wasn't that into you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 June 2017):
 Honestly?
I have no idea. I DO think though that he wanted to end it with you but didn't want to be a MAN about it and break up, so he just stopped talking to you hoping you would get the point. What a coward.
I think it's time YOU move on and stop speculating what's going on. He DUMPED you by IGNORING you. You said it yourself the relationship was weird. You knew the whole time that something wasn't right and well, YOUR instincts were right.
So what do you do? You say to yourself well, I won't get into something like THAT again it was a WASTE of my time, effort and emotions. And F whatever he is doing or thinking now, he is IN the past so that is where he needs to stay.
Don't LET him occupy so much of your thoughts - there is no point. Good riddance to him. Next time? If things seem weird, walk away.
We don't always get a sense of "closure" when a relationship ends, sometimes they just end like yours. And that is when you KNOW that it wasn't something to look back at fondly or waste any more time on. The CLOSURE you do have is that it's over.
I seriously doubt it was one miscommunication that made him end it. I think he was looking for a way out and it just happened to coincide with that "miscommunication".
So dust yourself off and move on.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (3 June 2017):
 Sweetheart, after 3 years, why are you even still bothered? If he had wanted to make contact with you, he would have a long time ago. Given that he hasn't done so, he obviously doesn't want to be with you. Whether this is due to a "misunderstanding" is irrelevant.
Why would you ask about apartments in his building? Why are you still fixating on him after 3 years?
Brush yourself down, make a determined effort to forget him and move on with your life. He is in the past. Leave him there.
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