A
female
age
30-35,
*heCityGirl
writes:Hi all.I work at a retail job which is just temporary until I get into my career field. There's a guy at my job who I have a big crush on (let's call him V). Usually I do nothing about situations where I have a crush on someone. But I kept reading how some men in my age group find it refreshing to get asked out for a change.When I started the job V of course, was very nice to me. He's a very goofy guy so I'm almost always laughing. I found myself physically attracted to V since the first day I saw him, which was my first day at work, and as time went on I was falling for his personality and the bits I know about him. I thought maybe V was into me as well because he would go out of his way to be near me, touch me (nothing inappropriate) always saying hi or calling my name when we are near each other, wanting a high 5, imitating me etc. So I took a big chance and asked him out on a date one day when he was about to leave work.I was happy when he responded positively, saying yes. And also saying how sweet and cute it was that I asked and that I should give him my number so we can talk about going on a date. We talked and I got to know even more about V. A week later, I planned for us to go bowling and he seemed very excited about it. At the last second as I was already out the door V cancelled on me, for what my sister convinced me was a valid reason. He said we should reschedule for the next day and I simply told him ok. I was upset, because I was looking forward for us to finally see each other outside of work. I had to work that next morning but would make it on time for the date later that evening. But, I saw V strolling into work during the last 30 minutes of my shift. Obviously he would not be coming to the date and he did not alert me that he would take someone else's shift that day.I was crushed, I just did nothing and said nothing about it. Weeks went by and we would only say hello to each other as I didn't want things to be awkward. I figured he probably never wanted to go on the date and by not saying anything to me since he cancelled he probably didn't want to lead me on. Lately we have started to drift into old ways of talking (not full conversations) and hugging. Yesterday, a coworker of mine who I did vent to about the situation weeks before (who didn't tell anyone about it, to my knowledge that is) brought it up during a joke with other coworkers. Not the full thing, but mentioning that if I keep "flirting" with her "crush" (let's call her crush G) that she would flirt with my crush. This made G very curious to who I had a crush on at work. He started asking questions trying to get me to say who it was and promised that he wouldn't say anything to anyone. I broke and told him that it was V and about the situation.G claims that if I wanted to date V that I should have reminded V. I told him I would not do such a thing because I do not want to appear desperate and that I'm just letting it go. V later came into work. G and I were working closely together at the time. Later I caught the two of them standing in the stairwell obviously talking about me as I caught a few words but not too much. I was stunned and really embarrassed I couldn't find a word to say .They saw me and were quiet. I left and they continued. Later I asked G what happened. G told me that V approached him and asked him what's going on between us (G and I). G says he told V that nothing was going on with us in that way but then he asked V what's going on with V and I. V told him that he doesn't know what's going on. G mentioned that the only person I was interested in was V and V responded that he didn't know that " I liked him like that" (???).Of course my sister and G's advice is to leave it alone (as I've already been doing). But I can't help but be curious to why V would care if another guy was interested in me. Sorry that this was so long and I apologize for the grammatical errors and if this is confusing to anyone. Can anyone offer me any insight on anything at all? I'm just looking for a different perspective on it all.
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at work, co-worker, crush, flirt Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TheCityGirl +, writes (18 November 2014):
TheCityGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're definietly right Honeypie. It's a waste of time to try to read him. Thanks for your wise words.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2014):
 Don't forget what you were told were all hearsay. Most people enjoy the fact that others are interested and/or like them, nothing new in that.
Maybe you HAVE been talking more to G lately and that was noticed by V?
It's really hard to tell. And as far as being curious, I get it, but it's really a waste of time trying to read other people actions or their minds.
He had his chance, his loss.
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A
female
reader, TheCityGirl +, writes (17 November 2014):
TheCityGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you honeypie, I definitely needed that. I already figured he wasn't that interested since he cancelled and never spoke to me about it. Just curious to why he'd even want to know if another guy was interested, but the outcome of that just fed his ego. Didn't plan on barking up that tree again. Anyway thanks again.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2014):
I would drop it. If V was REALLY interested he wouldn't have "conveniently" forgotten about the rain-check, nor would he have cancelled THAT late.
I would also AVOID involving other co-workers in my "crushes" and personal business. It's unprofessional and honestly, sounds like high school all over.. or maybe middle school.
V now KNOWS you "like" him THAT way and hasn't talked to you about it, my guess is.... he isn't that into you and thus isn't doing anything.
It was brave to ask him out in the first place, so never feel bad for doing that. But keep your "romantic" feelings to yourself at work or it can end up rather awkward. IMHO.
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A
female
reader, TheCityGirl +, writes (16 November 2014):
TheCityGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the feedback. Good advice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2014):
I did get slightly confused, ( cant remember who's who with the letters lol) but the main thing I picked up is u arranged a date with the Man U fancy at work but he never showed up, but u think he shows a little jelousy cause another man shows an interest in u if im correct. But I think i agree with your sister, you have done enough already on your part to show your interest. I think you should leave the next move to him now if he's interested. Think you should leave it how it is, theres plenty more fish in the sea
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