A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:well, not sure how to start this question.. My boyfriend and I had ended our relationship. What happened the last time I went to his house, I noticed that everthing was password protected, when he never had it like that before, his laptops, his phone and he even went into the bathroom with his phone and locked himself in there for about 45 mins, this included a shower. It makes me think that he wanted me to find out because never before did he show he was communicating with another girl. To me, these are signs. Plus I already knew this girl that kept on messaging him telling him that she likes him and to give her a chance.Anyways, this last day that I was at his house, I got really pissed and walked out. Since he was not hiding anything. It was like he wanted me to know. So I left. The following Sunday he brought me my stuff, left it at the door. I waited 2 weeks to bring some stuff that he had bought for me, took the bag and left it at his door. He texted me later that day and said "come pick up your stuff" I said NO. Texting went on for a while until he said "OK, delete all our pictures, texts, emails, my phone number." And I said Ok, I will do that if that's what he wanted. He said ok, come tell me in my face, I want to make sure you do it. So I went to his house and he said "what's up?" So I said I came over to show that I would delete everything. Anyways, (dummy me), Not sure how we were hugging again and kissing, sort of made up again. So, I went to see him again the next day and he had bottle of champain and two glasses for us to celebrate us getting back together. It went on like this for the whole week. We saw each other everyday. We out to eat, we met at his house but everyday. Nothing was password protected anymore. Anyways, the question is "what do you think he wants out of this relationship. I haven't asked him, I'm so dumb. Does he only want to use me as a second girl, if he's still with that other girl he was talking to? Or do you think he really likes me and wants to be with me? Gosh I don't know, I want to ask him but I am afraid of his answer, or not sure how I would ask.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 October 2011):
 You really need to ask him to be honest. But I have a few questions for you:
1. Do you TRUST HIM? what will you do the next time he password protects his phone/email etc? what about when he can't be reached? Will you think he's cheating?
2. can you live with the doubts?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): Unfortunately no one on here can give you a certain answer with regards to his behaviour. From what you have said he sounds like a bit of a prat. Don't be afriad of his answer you deserve the truth, no one deserves to be messed around. If I were you I would text him one morning and arrange meeting up. Don't make it seem like it's time for a serious chat as he may work himself up and automatically be defensive. When you meet and he's being all normal just very calmly, and listen to yourself as you don't want your tone to sound like you are accusing him, say that you are finding it hard to move past what happened that day and could you chat about it? Be direct, but still calm, and just ask who was the girl? As then you are not saying WAS there a girl but WHO could encourage him to tell the truth. Say that to you this relationship is exclusive and should there be someone else he needs to own up now and make a decision. You know him better than we do so only you can judge if he is covering up or being honest x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011):
If he is your bf you need to be able to ask him what he wants and more importantly make your needs known. Is your relationship with him exclusive? If not just end it. You need to be able to communicate this and not just fall back into a relationship that is bad, as this one sounds pretty bad.
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