A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Heya,Okay so basically I like this boy but the problem is so does my best friend!! So I told this boy how i felt and my best friend helped me tell him so everything was great then!! I then was talking about asking him out as a nice friend I said I wouldn't though because she liked him and I wouldn't do that to her!! So anyway I haven't done anything except obviously flirting however as soon as I leave him though she goes up and starts flirting with him!! It's horrible to see as she knows how I feel and I know she can't help it but... I don't know if he flirts back with her but it seems a little to me that he does which isn't fun to watch!! I also have this guy best mate who's mates with the guy I like and he is always looking out for me. my crush admitted to my guy best friend that he was flirting with my best friend!! I was pretty upset when I found out, who wouldn't be!? Anyway my guy best mate had my back and was trying to get him to talk to me but then the other day he started pushing him into my best mate I kinda was hurt as he knew how I felt!! I probably sound ridiculous but I thought my crush was a jerk by flirting in front of me with my best mate?! Please give me all the advice you have on this please I need your help desperately!!
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (6 July 2015):
Two friends both like the same guy, it’s an old, old story. It’s true that your friend didn’t promise not to go after him, whereas you did. Perhaps this makes you a little nobler, but in the grand scheme of things, this doesn’t matter much. At your age, guys and crushes will come and go. Friendships are important and lasting; treasure your friendship with her. Your guy friend knows he’s not in to you, that’s why he’s not pushing it. It doesn’t sound like anything is really happening between him and your friend either. She might need your support too when she figures this out. This is, quite simply, a crush that isn’t reciprocated. IT feels horrible at the time but I promise you that will not last. In the meantime, true friends can always cheer you up.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 July 2015):
 Is he a jerk?
Not really. JUST because YOU have a crush on him, doesn't mean he is bounds to have one on you, or OWE you some kind of special gratitude.
Your friend knows you won't go after him, but SHE gave you NO such promise in return, did she? She likes him, just like you - so JUST because you said it first, doesn't mean you have DIBS on the dude.
You are all so young. He is most likely enjoying the FIRE out of ALL that female attentions, from you AND your BFF. Hence he is flirting with both of you.
YOU need to understand that a crush YOU may have on someone is YOURS. You don't HAVE to confess it to the other person, as it can become a little awkward for them, specially if they don't feel the same way, OR if they like someone else.
You can't CONTROL others. Not what they do, say or think. All you CAN control is your OWN behavior.
So you told the guy, and HE didn't tell you back.
HIM flirting with your BFF right in front of you, MIGHT be his way of telling you... that he doesn't LIKE you back in the same way. It's a immature way of doing it, but.. it obviously works, because you now think he is somewhat of a jerk, right?
Having a crush is akin to having a fantasy. You have all these GREAT feelings, thoughts and ideas. REAL love or genuine CARING isn't fantasy.
SOMETIMES people we crush on, DON'T feel the same way. It happens. NEVER feel bad about it. Thinking that they should feel the same way, is kind of entitled and selfish.
So maybe consider holding a little back in the future. You don't HAVE to tell someone that you have a crush on them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2015): Ok you have told him how you felt and got no response from him really?
Or you went cool on him because you didn't want to hurt your friend who also likes him?
I'm sorry but it sounds to me he likes your friend and his friend knows this hence why he is trying to get them talking.
Never nice to hear that regardless of what age you are.
Your young and will meet loads of people and maby even the right one for you one day.
Sorry I think this boy likes your friend.
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