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Was having sex with him a mistake? I can't get over him

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

ok, there was this guy i met about a year back at a football game,, i have always thought i would never like him, well at least not as more then freinds. well one day he added me on myspace and had appeared to have changed..alott! we started talking immediatly,, he messaged me asking if he knew me and i reminded him i had met him at the game. well ever since then we had talked for a month. at first he had his ex girl freind whom he was still unsure of if he was attached. i had already started likeing him when one day he told me that he was not over her. so we stopped talking. that night he text me and said he they were just taking it day by day but that he really liked me and would like to get to no me better. so we continued talking,, his girlfreind now compltely out of the picture. and he had finally got upp the courage to ask me out. immediatly i said yes.within the two weeks we dated,, we broke up four times over the dumbest things, but would always end up getting over it because we were falling in love. he had asked me to hang out quite a bit but i would always turn him down. finally tho one day,, i finally hung out with him. we went to his house to watch a movie but what turned out to just be a movie night,, was nothing like that. we went in his room and made out alott and talked about us and etc., and when his mom left we decided we were going to have sex. well we did. i had an amazing night and it seemed to me that he did too,, until the next day when he started acting really strange. he seemed to not care for me,, or talk to me like he used to. i ended up breaking up with him that night for that reason,, naturally thinking that we would get back together,, well this time he said no,, it just wasnt going to work anymore and he was tired of giving me chances.and the reason he said was that beefor we hung out,, everything was great,,but when we did, and i left that night,, his feelings for me just seemed to fade. i was shocked, my feelings had grown so much after that night,, and its been three weeks since we broke up and im still not over him,, he still wants to talk to me but just as freinds and as nothing more. i just dont no what to do,, i have tried moving on, but im still in love with him. what did i do wrong that he dosnt like me? was having sex with him on the first date just a terrible mistake? please helpp me!

View related questions: broke up, get back together, his ex, myspace, text

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A female reader, Jacey Australia +, writes (22 August 2009):

I am in a similar situation at the moment. I went on dates with a guy quite a few times before i did anything with him other than kissing but the other night we went out to dinner and went back to his house to watch movies. we watched a couple and then he asked me for a kiss, before i knew it we were having sex. the way i see it is if i didnt have sex with him he would have thought i was a tease anyway and probably wouldnt have messaged me after that. Now im in the sitiuation when he hasnt messgaed me and its three days later, but i dont regret it because sex is goood.

dont think of what you did as a mistake, it was just something that happened and you cant help that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009):

woah so he jux hit that & quite that huh?. those type of guys are immature all they want right now is too have sex there not ready for anything serious. & why are you even having sex, I hope yaa used a condom or something, cuz people have std's & usually dnt tell there partner. YES it was a mistake having sex on the first date some people don't even kiss on the first date. you should take things slowly cuz you gave it up pretty quickly. & I dnt think you love him its prolly an obssesion or something love takes a while girl trust me. & him telling you that he's your friend is jux another way to have you whenever he wants cuz now he knows you like since yaa already had sex. but the best thing to do is leave him & move on sweety trust me. there's plenty fish in the sea. good luck with everything*

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A male reader, Six_Floors_Left United States +, writes (22 August 2009):

Six_Floors_Left agony auntMany of my friends have had sex with their partner way too soon which have led to many breakups. Most often unless a guy is really emotionaly attached to you, sex will cause his feelings for you to fade or dissapear. Still there could be a number of variables that could have caused him to stop loving you. If its not the sex then my first guess would be his ex. Either way you shouldnt be talking to us about this you should be talking to him. Ask him the same exact questions that you asked in your post. He's the only one that knows for sure why he wont take you back.

~SFL

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009):

Im sorry to say babe you made something called a school girl error

firstly you are sooo young why are you having sex???

Also its illigal in the states till 18 right?

He played you his g/f probably didn't"put out" and he figured you would. i feel sorry that you ended up in this situation and sorry that you ended up in it so young. Please tell me you used protection??

By your post you are obviously far to immature to be in a sexual relationship. I hope you learn from your mistake and wait till your 18 next time. As for the guy don't waste your time on him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2009):

it was def. a mistake! Especially on the first date!

I mean i'm different from other people. See my belief is that you should wait till marriage before having sex! You would be more intiment and love each other a whole lot more if yall waited for each other! But it's too late for that! And you should of never gotten a date with him on myspace! He did nothing but use you for his sexual pleasure and that's all guys want these days so watch out and don't go on dates with people you have met once and talk to on myspace!

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