A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:After bumping into a friend if a friend a couple of times on nights out, I finally agreed to go on a date with him. We had a great time and really clicked. He kept in contact and we went out a couple more times. I then went on holiday for a couple of weeks and when I got back made contact to sort out our next meeting and for him to see my new flat which u had just bought. A couple of days before he was due back he text me saying that he didn't think it was a great idea because he wasn't ready for anything serious because he'd just broken up with a long term gf and knew that we were starting to get attached. Fast forward a couple of months (contact was maintained in one way or another) I text him on his birthday and offered to buy him a birthday drink. We met up and clicked all over again and this time he ended up staying at mine. He stayed until later the next day and we even went to meet one if his uni friends for lunch. He kept in contact that week and the next weekend invited me round his house for a BBQ with a couple of his friends. He kept texting me that week and into the next and we were due to go for dinner to celebrate my bonus from work. When I text to organise a day he replied saying that he had been seeing a bit if his ex (who he split up from a year ago at this point) and it had been going well. He was sorry because he really liked me but needed to sort his head out and see where things were going, if anywhere, with her. I accepted that it was a hard situation to be in, they obviously have a lot of history together. I decided that was a good time to tell him how I feel because he had been doing alot of the emotional work up until then. I told him to sort his head out, to keep me updated etc. This was two weeks ago and I haven't heard anything, they still aren't friends again on fb. I want to be adult about this and I know that he has mire loyalties to her but u really like him and I think he really likes me. Should I make contact? How should I play this?
View related questions:
his ex, on holiday, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010): When a guy is really good the ex always comes back.I have been there exactly where you are.When someone doesn't feel anything for you,your heart would let you know.Let him find the girl he loves.There is an amazing guy waiting out there who is going to love you the way you deserve to be loved.
If I were you,I would read Lexi's advice again and again.Don't make contact.If you really love a person,you would want them to be happy.That doesn't mean you need to get hurt.Stay away and be peaceful.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (17 May 2010):
 I think he's too invested in her to give you the attention you want. You've rightly pointed out that they've got more history than you and him.
What I can sense through reading your post is that you have made yourself too available to him. He's told you about her and he's made it clear that he wants to go off to pursue her and you've basically said 'ok, I'll hang around and wait for you to make your mind up.' You've given him all the power here and he'll use it.
If he really liked you and liked you enough, he would leave the past in the past and work on things with you. You're good, but not good enough.
Don't be 'not good enough,' don't be his second choice, don't wait in the wings until he's done chasing her and she's rejected him. That's what he's doing. She's number one and if she doesn't work out he'll come around to you.
So should you make contact? That's entirely up to you but I wouldn't. He knows how you feel...why do you feel the need to chase him? If a man really wants you he will do anything to get to you...that sounds cliche but it's so true.
If I was you I would let this go now, concentrate on other things, other men. If he contacts you and wants to date you, accept only on one condition...that you're the only one.
...............................
|
