A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My partner has been fairly supportive for a number of years but I am angry with him as are relationship is not moving on. I have two children for a previous and one for him.I am very independent with my own property and job.My mother died just before xmas and I told him. All xmas I did not see him. No gifts for the children or me no effort whatsoever. New Years night he phones 20 mins after new year. I did not answer.My son was fined for shoplifting and my son phoned him first as the police needed to speak to an adult. I believe he only wants to speak to me about my son and not us.We have not been intimate since April and I feel he has really gone off me and I cannot understand why. Once I asked if he would stay the night with me and he sounded horrified and asked if I had been drinking. I felt really offended. I never suggestd it again. I have done investigations over xmas and he was at his mothers. He has tried calling 3 times but I can not bring myself to call him. I am worried about coming across weak and desperate although I am really angry with him and other men are starting to look more attractive.I would prefer to work it out with him and I want him to show without me calling him. In other words I want him to run to me. I can not understand why he is turned off of me. We use to be really good together.I am angry as I want to get married and have a happier life as my kids are suffering as they want a make influence particularly my 17 year old. He spends more time at him friends house as they parents live together and he sys it is a nice atmosphere.I was planning on joining a singles social club before a get too old also there is someone who i beleive people are trying to set me up with but I cant quite get the opportunity to meet alone.Comments please very well welcomed. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response. Not sure what to do but need to make contact some how.
A
female
reader, 48years +, writes (11 January 2009):
 Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your loss, you've had an awful christmas.
Honey, I understand that you want him to run to you - I wanted that from one guy a long time ago, too. And when he didn't run to me, I was deeply offended. So I played hard to get. And I was the one who became obsessed with loving him one day, hating him the next in a never-ending cycle of self inflicted abuse.
Ultimately, (and many boxes of tissues later) I learned that you can't make someone do what they don't want to do (Listen to Prince, "I can't make you love me if you don't...I can't make your heart feel something it won't" )
Take care of your kids and yourself first. You are tied to this partner as he's your child's father forever. See if you can salvage it for your son's sake - afterall, you loved each other once, what changed for you?
Only you can control you.
...............................
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