A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I was not brought up by my white scottish mother. I was abandoned as a baby as she left me with my Jamaican father.I met my mother when I was about 30. We had 15 years but she lived 120 miles away so I did not see her often.From what she told me she had two other children from different men that she also abandoned. I felt a deep hole in my life not knowing her or even having a picture of her but I went out of my way to find her and my two half sisters that she kept.She was a sad lonely woman. Struggled to bring up her daughters and an awful house in an awful area. In a way I am glad she did not raise me - god knows where I would be today.Due to not having a mother I have really struggled in life. Abused my a step mother and my own father phyically. Have problems in relationships and rejected by my half sisters.However, I am an attractive independent manager in education with three boys and two houses and a car. I feel pleased that I was able to make contact with my mother. I am pleased that I did not send her mother day cards and that she recognised that she had not been a mother to me.At her funeral I prayed that night for her and she touched me. I thanked her for allowing me into her life for the short time we had - she could have rejected me and how would I have felt then.My father did treat her awfully so I do have some symphathy but having children from different men and giving them up makes me sick and embarrassed of her.I would be grateful for your comments. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses. Its nice to see it from another angle. My mother did say that she felt bad giving me up but she knew I would have a better life being brought up my my Jamaican granparents.
she could have done much better for herself. she was not stupid - just lazy and non-ambitious. she caused a lot of embarassment to me and my half sisters. Only a few understand why she lived the way she did. she did say she was the black sheep in her family.
thanks again.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (11 January 2009):
 You sound like you turned out pretty well. I would give thanks to the woman who gave birth to you. I think that being able to make contact with her was a good thing for you as it gave you some closure. It sounds as though she lived a rather sad and difficult life; that deserves a little compassion and sympathy, I think.
You deserve some as well; being abused by your stepmother and father is awful. I hope for you a happy and healthy life. Make a good life for your children and yourself.
Condolences on your losses; both the recent death of your mother, but more importantly, on the loss of your childhood's happiness.
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2009): seems like you have everything going for you at the moment!!.. its good that you met your mother and yes you probably wont get upset as you wont have spent the most important years of your life (childhood) with her!.. and she probably didnt want to give you up but as you said her life was very poor in a poor area aswell what kind of life would that have been for you! in the long run shes thougth whats been best for you and shes done the right thing!! but dont say it makes you sick and embarrased for her by having children by different men then giving them up makes you sick :( as you said she was a lonely woman and maybe being with someone made her feel more happy at times! and she obviously doesnt have alot of money which is why she would have had to give the children up and no money for abortion. i would'nt feel embarrased for her its just things that happen in life that people have to deal with my dad was brought up by hs grandad because his mum did not want him! just be happy you got to meet her and she was probably happy to see how successful you are today!
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A
male
reader, planepocket +, writes (10 January 2009):
I think you are going through what someone in your position might go through.Your feelings might change as time goes by.Whatever you feel is normal for you.
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