A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heyyy theres this guy i used to have a thing with until i found out he was using me so i had a massive arguement with him ! He has stopped talking to me now but we have the same friendship group and would like it if we could be friends even if he is a dick i do still miss him as we where friends for a while,anyway i have two questions ... how can i get him to talk to me again? and also how can i show him that he hasnt got a hold on me anymore and i am not interested?oh by the way ... please dont suggest i dont speak to him as he treat me bad ! i know but i tried and it just upsets me more :/
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): "how can i show him that he hasnt got a hold on me anymore and i am not interested?"
You can't because you're not over him at all.
You'd be better off if he didn't talk to you again so you can get over him properly.
OP read your question again, at the start you say you just want to be friends and at the end you say you've tried to not be with him but it's too hard. Your feelings are too strong to be any kind of good friend at the moment because your heart wants more than friendship and your head knows he's bad for you, so you're trying to appease your head and your heart by trying to be his friend. It doesn't work like that OP. If your head and heart want two different things then being his friend will only lead to pain for you.
Let him go, then in the future when you truly have moved on maybe you can be his friend again, something tells me though that when you reach that stage you won't want to be his friend. Because only an idiot makes friends with people that use them especially when they know that from before.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): You can't be friends with people solely on your terms. That flies in the face of what friendship is all about.
Either grow up and be his real friend or leave him alone.
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A
female
reader, Lovely15  +, writes (21 February 2011):
My best advice is for you to just get over him as soon as possible.. The opposite of love is indifference so don't hate him but don't show him any signs that you like him. Just know that any feelings you have for him will pass, especially when you start focusing on finding a better man! It might be scary or difficult at first when you know you have to hang out with him and your mutual friends, but once you're hanging out it probably won't be as scary as you build it up in your mind to be. Just go with it. So long as he doesn't pull any dick moves and you don't make anything awkward by pursuing him after he treated you so poorly, time will fix this.. I promise!
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (21 February 2011):
 Wait, you want him to be your friend again, but you don't want to talk to him because it upsets you?? Isn't that kind of impossible??
Maybe you should just tell him that you would like to civil with him from now on if you are in each others company. It doesn't have to be all laughing, joking and being best mates as you're clearly not over him. But if you are at least civil with each other, then it's less awkward that way.
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