A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I met this girl online a few months ago and we got on really well and have texted every day and spoken most days. We've met up twice and I really like her and she likes me a lot too. Most recently she stayed the night and had a great time (we didn't have sex, we just cuddled). I respect her boundaries because I like her as a person and don't want to rush anything. My only issue is she's going on holiday with her friends and I know she's going to get a lot of male attention and while she wouldn't do anything sober... I'm not convinced about a drunken her. To make things worse we've said nothing about exclusivity yet - I kinda feel it's too early (even though I've spoken to her for months I've only met her twice) but I really like her and I'd be devastated if she did things with another guy. She speaks about our future a lot, meeting family and going on trips but I don't have much confidence in talking about our future so generally kind of avoid it. I want to try and make things exclusive before she goes or at least ask her where she wants this to go - I was thinking it might be better if I said something along the lines of I wouldn't see anyone else or do anything and I'd obviously like her to do the same but say it has to be her decision, I can't/shouldn't force it upon her.Any advice for a hopeless romantic?
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female
reader, Bella Rose +, writes (14 July 2014):
It seems as though you are unsure about how the lady feels....prompting you to feel anxious about the whole situation. If the lady didn't like you, she would most certainly not spend time with you or remain in communication. You need to take the lead and just simply ask her to be exclusive and tell her how you really feel...girls like this. By asking outright at least you will know where you stand...maybe she is waiting for you to male that move so unless you show your true feelings you will keep on surmising and guessing. If you don't do it before she goes away you may regret it....life is no dress rehearsal just go ahead and ask her outright you have nothing to lose...only your pride if it doesn't go your way. Good luck!
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (14 July 2014):
Why haven't you seen each other more? Is this an LDR? If it is, then I'm imagining that it'd be okay to be exclusive. If she's local, or within a few hours driving distance, I'm gonna say she's probably not ready to be exclusive for some reason.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2014): Unfortunately I won't have time to see her before she leaves... So I guess I'll have to leave it and keep my fingers crossed. She's said she wouldn't want to have a fling with a guy out there but since we're not officially exclusive I do wonder... I think she's really interested in making things more serious with me so I hope that's the case. Thanks for the advice, guess I'll just have to hope for the best and see her when she gets back!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 July 2014):
 How long until she leaves? Will you have time to meet her for a third date? In which case it should be easy to bring it up then and there. It is not fitting to bring this up over the phone.
I would put it as simple as this: I really like you, and would like to see where this is going. No pressure added, but would you be okay with us dating exclusively?
That way you avoid the entire "are we in a relationship or not" discussion, seeing as you've only met two times and it's still too early to actually discuss that. But you can absolutely suggest dating exclusively, that's within reason.
Just DON'T do it over the phone. You'll come off as desperate if you do.
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