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male
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*arkkav
writes: myself and my wife have been separated twice and the last was only 3 months ago, since then we have been still really good with eachother and being intermite and having fun and just being happy when all of a sudden that all changed.for the last 4 weeks she has been seeing this guy that works with her and they have slept together many times my wife introduced him to family and got very emotional attached to him and his kids deeply,she had told me all of this as time went on thorugh the four weeks and had said i had to make a discission and i want to try this with him and the whole time i have been waiting for her because i love her very much and want her back,and i no she is making a mistake rushing in to all of this because when we first split i did the same thing with another women and when my wife asked me to come back to her i did straight away.only a couple of days ago she rand me very upset and i went over there straight away,she told me he broke it off with her and for one of the reasons being she fell pregnant with him and she dosent want the child,this guy is 38 married and divorsed twice with three kids and my wife is 26 with our son.she hates him now and because im still in love with her i want her back because she did say if me and him dont work out then we will start working on things again,but at the moment all i want to do is help her through this problem but she wants to deal with it on her own and she has been very cold,mean,distant,and angry towards me for the last four weeks since she has been with him and that kills me,now i just dont no what to do i feel empty,confused,scared because all i want is to have her back and work on things slowly but when shes ready,but she wont even let me hug,kiss,touch,or anything towards her at the moment because she said it makes her feel uncomfortable and she doesnt feel that way towards me at the moment.i tell her all the time im here if you need me ,i want to help you ,we can work on us when ever your ready,and tell her im still madly in love with her,and every time i cry over something about us or the way is acting towards me she gets mad and angry.i no that she hasnt fully gotten over this guy but it was only 4 weeks and yet so much happened,and i no that we will start working on things hopefully sooner than later,but i just dont no what to say or do ,she just wants me to be her friend at the moment but its hard to be that when she is my wife and all i want to do is hold her in my arms and make sure no one hurts her again.i have been in counciling for 3 months now for my verbal anger problem and she can see a huge change in me witch is good but can someone out there please help me with some advise because i no she is still in love with me after being together for 10 years even though when she first starting seeing this guy her love for me stoped after one day of being with him,and i no no one can switch off like that.so what do i do now our son wants us back together i do as well but she has so much on her mind at the moment and im scared that she might go back with him even after her saying we will start working on things if it doesnt work out . Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): I feel bad for you she is playing games I think that if you both loved eachother like you claim you do neither one of you would have went with other people in such a short time of being separated that's crazy your supposed to take a break to sort your feelings out about eachother not make it worst.This women put you on the back burner she'll get back with you if it doesn't work with the other guy? what the hell is that? that's not someone who loves you and she didn't use protection with this guy with only knowing him for four weeks? not to mention gets pregnant and she's treating you like shit she should put the shoe on the other foot what if you did that Hunny open your eyes this women is not worth it you deserve better and I know it's hard cause you hav a son but spend as much time with him as possible and talk to him on his level in time he will understand. Your not at fault here she is and she doe'snt deserve any one's support she put herself through this no one else what if this guy changes his mind and wants her back oops there you are again on the rebound! Think of you and how your being treated! Good luck!!
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