A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 15 years and am very happy with our life. Sex life not so much. Recently I found one of my first boyfriends online and started talking... really only wanted to see how he was doing. It turned into memory sharing and was very sexy. My husband totally reaped the benefits of this virtual flirting... he got more sex in 5 days than the whole month before because I felt so sexy. Now I feel guilty and so does the old boyfriend. Is what we were doing really so bad? He lives completly on the other side of the country and there is no way we would ever see each other in real life.
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female
reader, Sarrah  +, writes (20 March 2008):
I agree: just chatting is ok. Although you have to ask yourself a few questions: why are you feeling so sexy when you get attention from your old friend? What are you missing in your own relationship? What can your husband do to give you this feeling? Maybe this is a chance to work on your relationship... Take care!
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 Read between the lines.
"He lives completly on the other side of the country and THAT MEANS there is no way we would ever see each other in real life."
But you want to? Two little words sure as hell change that sentence?
There is temptation, if the barrier, which can far too easily be overcome wasn't there, would you give in?
A dating site question is "Do you feel you have the right to ask your partner to stop seeing someone even though they don't intend anything physical"
Far better would the question be "do you feel that you have to break of a relationship with a third party for sake of your steady relationship when feelings develop"?
You want this guy, and you husband was a stand in. Oh yeah that is benefits alright, your wife only wanting hot sex when she is thinking of someone else.
Maybe that is a bit too strong, is it?
Then there is another thing to consider, he is an ex-boyfriend for a reason. Right now he seems exciting as you remember all the good times while your marriage has settled into a grind but 15 years ago you choose your husband over this old boyfriend. Try and remember back to why that was.
That will do a lot more for your marriage then cheating on him in your mind.
Is it really that bad? Well you could ask yourselve how you would like to find that your husband was thinking of another woman while with you. 'Hi honey, I just saw Cindy from next door and WHOW she is hot, but since I can't bang her, lets us head upstairs' Hot sex ensured, what is really so bad?
It happened, you can't chance that but don't let it risk your marriage. Right now you know that if you want a better sex life all you got to do is go to him. Try and work on your husband not your ex.
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (20 March 2008):
I agree with waterloo sunset. Back away from your ex and concentrate on spicing up your sex life with your husband.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): If you are just chatting then you are doing nothing wrong, but i would back away from the old bf if i was you. Put more effort and concentration into your marriage. If you are having so much sex then it doesnt sound that your marriage is lost, just possibly got a bit stale. make the chats less and less.
take care
xx
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